After a fairly stressful encounter with my boss last week, I decided that it might be less stressful for me to work from home so I didn't have to go into the office everyday and face her and other stressors. I talked to my midwife about it and she agreed. She wrote a note recommending that I work from home because of signs of preterm labor. They hooked me up to the machines and everything to check. Now, don't panic! Everything is fine. I haven't been having contractions or anything, but if I get too stressed out I really could put myself and the baby at risk. My boss agreed to let me work from home unless I have an important meeting I need to be in the office for, so I feel relieved! Only 3 weeks left until I can go on maternity leave and now I can spend most of those days in my pajamas!
Some friends of mine are throwing me a shower next weekend and they want to paint onesies at the shower. So I went through all the clothes and other items I have gotten already to determine what size onesies they should buy and realized that I have a number of items in newborn and small sizes, especially onesies, but that I need the larger sizes. It was pretty fun going through all the baby stuff I have already, if a little overwhelming trying to think about organizing it all!
I am really anxiously awaiting maternity leave, and hoping that baby doesn't come early, so I can properly prepare for her arrival! I have so much left to get for her--a place to sleep, a changing pad, a breast pump, all sorts of bottles, but I really can't go shopping for these things either until I have my showers. I'm really having trouble hanging out at home and not having stuff ready! I guess I'm ready for that nesting instinct to kick into high gear, and for me to have the luxury of time to indulge it!
In other news, I've stopped knitting baby socks because I seem to suddenly have about 20 pairs of them (not all ones I knitted though)! Now I'm on to knitting diaper covers and wool soakers for her out of fun-colored yarn and I'm sewing some yummy bamboo baby washcloths and hooded towels. I bought the bamboo terry awhile ago and it is absolutely one of my most favorite fabrics ever! I am also sewing a few baby slings--one for me and one for a friend. Should be fun, quick projects that will use up lots of the fabric I've collected for baby!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
To exchange or not to exchange a gift
Please do not judge me too harshly, dear reader, but I am beginning to see the benefit of exchanging gifts for store credit.
Why is this occurring to me just now? Well, I am faced with a mass of gifts for the upcoming arrival of my baby and I'm starting to see a large amount of overlap on things I won't need as much of and a lot less of what I really need.
There are a few reasons why exchanging gifts for credit appeals to me:
1. People have different tastes - there are some things people have given me that I just plain don't like or don't want, even though I deeply appreciate the thought.
2. I have limited space - people have given me bulk amounts of certain items and I just don't have the room to store them.
3. Some people have not given me gift receipts or have given me second-hand items, which means that I have large numbers of items I can't return, making items I did receive receipts for something I can turn into things I can use.
4. There are some very large, expensive items I will need that I can use that store credit towards. As Rachel says in Friends, "Wouldn't you want me to exchange your gift for something I really want and can get a lot of use out of?" i.e. Credit!
This obsession with keeping our house clean and clutter to a minimum is shaping every aspect of my life, to the point where I'm now considering exchanging some Christmas gifts I received. I won't use the item much, most likely, but we're trying to keep baby costs low, and I could use the credit towards that or other items I need more (or might prefer over the gift).
As a gift-giver, I would much rather see my friends and family exchange a gift for something they would like or need than hate the gift or give it away.
I don't know if you think the same. Do you think it's offensive when someone returns an item you purchased for them?
Why is this occurring to me just now? Well, I am faced with a mass of gifts for the upcoming arrival of my baby and I'm starting to see a large amount of overlap on things I won't need as much of and a lot less of what I really need.
There are a few reasons why exchanging gifts for credit appeals to me:
1. People have different tastes - there are some things people have given me that I just plain don't like or don't want, even though I deeply appreciate the thought.
2. I have limited space - people have given me bulk amounts of certain items and I just don't have the room to store them.
3. Some people have not given me gift receipts or have given me second-hand items, which means that I have large numbers of items I can't return, making items I did receive receipts for something I can turn into things I can use.
4. There are some very large, expensive items I will need that I can use that store credit towards. As Rachel says in Friends, "Wouldn't you want me to exchange your gift for something I really want and can get a lot of use out of?" i.e. Credit!
This obsession with keeping our house clean and clutter to a minimum is shaping every aspect of my life, to the point where I'm now considering exchanging some Christmas gifts I received. I won't use the item much, most likely, but we're trying to keep baby costs low, and I could use the credit towards that or other items I need more (or might prefer over the gift).
As a gift-giver, I would much rather see my friends and family exchange a gift for something they would like or need than hate the gift or give it away.
I don't know if you think the same. Do you think it's offensive when someone returns an item you purchased for them?
Friday, January 15, 2010
Minimalist Baby Stuff
I know this is terrible, but I feel a little smug about the fact that we are doing everything for the baby as minimalist as possible.
People say, "Have you painted the room yet?" and I practically gag with laughter. HA! A room? A whole room? For the baby? We have a 2 bedroom apartment and we are planning on the baby co-sleeping with us, so we have part of a room set aside for playing and rocking and reading, and that's about it. Plus, we rent. I don't get why people ask this question around here because nearly everyone I know rents.
Second, all these expecting women go on and on about buying baby cribs and baby bedding and take pictures of the whole room all set up with a changing table and the baby's name stenciled on the wall. And I'm like, "Really? REALLY?" I get that people think they need a lot of things because we are sort of told we need a lot of things and I guess if you had the room for it, you might think getting a lot of things was a good idea, but it seems a bit silly.
You don't need to have a crib right away and in their own room. I mean, you have to physically GET UP every few hours to get to the baby at night. Do you really want to walk to the other side of the house or even the room for that? Especially if you are breastfeeding... ugh... So lots of people do a bassinet first. If they do that, why get the crib? Why set it up months before you'll need it? We are waiting on that purchase until baby outgrows the co-sleeper at 5 months or so...
Then bedding. All you really need is a sheet, right? You don't need a bumper, because those are actually supposed to be harmful because there is a potential for the baby to suffocate or get stuck in them. And you really don't need the little skirt at the bottom. You definitely don't need blankets, because of the risk of suffocation again. So all you need is a sheet and something warm for them to sleep in (like a sleep sack). That's it!
Then the changing table. I thought maybe I needed this. Now, I'm completely convinced that not only do I not need it, but I don't have the space! I'm getting a changing pad and that's the best I can do. From what I hear you also never use the changing table either. You change the baby wherever you are. And that makes sense to me. So we aren't buying those either.
Then there's the issue of decor. Frankly, with no crib, no changing table, no bedding, and no real room of her own, I'm not really sure why I would need to decorate even part of the room for the baby. It's not like she's going to even notice it at her age, right? I figured I'd wait on that part until the room really becomes hers and she can even have a say in what she likes. That really won't happen for at least 6 months, and probably a few years, in which case we'll probably have moved by then anyway!
Strangely, the one thing we do have a lot of is toys and baby amusement objects. These are the items I consider ESPECIALLY useless. I scoff at people who buy these right now (maybe I won't be so quick to judge if I have a collicky baby who needs help being amused and I'll try anything). But somehow we ended up with a baby gym, a baby bouncer, and a baby swing--all borrowed or hand-me-downs from friends and family. I was resistant to the idea of even taking them at first, but now I'm more on board, since they were free and we have a storage closet. Aaron convinced me that it can't hurt to have them just in case, so okay, we'll keep them just in case.
Another baby thing I find totally useless or annoying: high chairs. Just get a chair that clips onto the table! Every high chair I've ever seen has taken up tons of space and been hideously ugly.
I'm proud of us for avoiding getting sucked into the baby-thing buying trap. Screw Babies-R-Us and their long list of "baby essentials." I'm using cloth diapers, homemade wipes, handmade sheets, hand-me-downs, and the absolute minimum in baby furniture (co-sleeper). I'm saving my money for things I'll really need like a breast pump and a jogging stroller (for after she outgrows the borrowed car seat and compatible stroller). I wouldn't even buy a stroller and would just use baby carriers, except I think there really will be times when it is handy.
So, say what you will about my smugness, but I'm here to say that even though it's fun, you don't NEED that much baby stuff. I'll let you know if I change my mind later. It will be interesting to see if I'm way off or doing just fine. But for now, in my experience, it's better to start off with a little and get what you know you will need than to get a lot and have it go to waste (and take up precious space).
People say, "Have you painted the room yet?" and I practically gag with laughter. HA! A room? A whole room? For the baby? We have a 2 bedroom apartment and we are planning on the baby co-sleeping with us, so we have part of a room set aside for playing and rocking and reading, and that's about it. Plus, we rent. I don't get why people ask this question around here because nearly everyone I know rents.
Second, all these expecting women go on and on about buying baby cribs and baby bedding and take pictures of the whole room all set up with a changing table and the baby's name stenciled on the wall. And I'm like, "Really? REALLY?" I get that people think they need a lot of things because we are sort of told we need a lot of things and I guess if you had the room for it, you might think getting a lot of things was a good idea, but it seems a bit silly.
You don't need to have a crib right away and in their own room. I mean, you have to physically GET UP every few hours to get to the baby at night. Do you really want to walk to the other side of the house or even the room for that? Especially if you are breastfeeding... ugh... So lots of people do a bassinet first. If they do that, why get the crib? Why set it up months before you'll need it? We are waiting on that purchase until baby outgrows the co-sleeper at 5 months or so...
Then bedding. All you really need is a sheet, right? You don't need a bumper, because those are actually supposed to be harmful because there is a potential for the baby to suffocate or get stuck in them. And you really don't need the little skirt at the bottom. You definitely don't need blankets, because of the risk of suffocation again. So all you need is a sheet and something warm for them to sleep in (like a sleep sack). That's it!
Then the changing table. I thought maybe I needed this. Now, I'm completely convinced that not only do I not need it, but I don't have the space! I'm getting a changing pad and that's the best I can do. From what I hear you also never use the changing table either. You change the baby wherever you are. And that makes sense to me. So we aren't buying those either.
Then there's the issue of decor. Frankly, with no crib, no changing table, no bedding, and no real room of her own, I'm not really sure why I would need to decorate even part of the room for the baby. It's not like she's going to even notice it at her age, right? I figured I'd wait on that part until the room really becomes hers and she can even have a say in what she likes. That really won't happen for at least 6 months, and probably a few years, in which case we'll probably have moved by then anyway!
Strangely, the one thing we do have a lot of is toys and baby amusement objects. These are the items I consider ESPECIALLY useless. I scoff at people who buy these right now (maybe I won't be so quick to judge if I have a collicky baby who needs help being amused and I'll try anything). But somehow we ended up with a baby gym, a baby bouncer, and a baby swing--all borrowed or hand-me-downs from friends and family. I was resistant to the idea of even taking them at first, but now I'm more on board, since they were free and we have a storage closet. Aaron convinced me that it can't hurt to have them just in case, so okay, we'll keep them just in case.
Another baby thing I find totally useless or annoying: high chairs. Just get a chair that clips onto the table! Every high chair I've ever seen has taken up tons of space and been hideously ugly.
I'm proud of us for avoiding getting sucked into the baby-thing buying trap. Screw Babies-R-Us and their long list of "baby essentials." I'm using cloth diapers, homemade wipes, handmade sheets, hand-me-downs, and the absolute minimum in baby furniture (co-sleeper). I'm saving my money for things I'll really need like a breast pump and a jogging stroller (for after she outgrows the borrowed car seat and compatible stroller). I wouldn't even buy a stroller and would just use baby carriers, except I think there really will be times when it is handy.
So, say what you will about my smugness, but I'm here to say that even though it's fun, you don't NEED that much baby stuff. I'll let you know if I change my mind later. It will be interesting to see if I'm way off or doing just fine. But for now, in my experience, it's better to start off with a little and get what you know you will need than to get a lot and have it go to waste (and take up precious space).
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Week 32: Back to Reality
Well, this week was a little less eventful than other weeks. Mostly, I just worked very hard on a big project that was due for work. But there are a few new developments on the baby front.
For one, we finished our birthing class this week, and yet, I find myself barely ready for giving birth. I feel informed and well-equipped, but I just cannot imagine this baby coming out. I feel no Braxton-Hicks contractions or major discomfort that makes me think, "Get this baby out!" I guess when the time comes I will just know, but right now, I feel as though I'm in denial. I'll just be pregnant forever. Yes, I think that will work for me! Haha!
I finally decided that I will start maternity leave on February 15 (my birthday!). Which is not a moment too soon. Work has become pretty stressful for me. My boss is not a very good communicator and I find myself very intimidated when I'm talking to her. In general, I think she is a good boss, but often her comments leave me wondering, "Does she think I'm an idiot?" I think our personalities must clash or something and I'm more sensitive to it being pregnant, I think. I really like what I do though, so I'm happy to do it for awhile. It's just that I'm ready to start focusing on baby stuff! I want to finish buying baby items, get them all organized and washed and be ready for baby!
My mom is making plans to come out and visit a few days after my due date. That was the date the midwife recommended, since it is likely that I will give birth past my due date. I think I will too. I have always maintained I will have the baby on March 11 (I'm due March 4), so we shall see!
Baby is really kicking strong this week. Aaron, my husband, said he's never heard me react as much as I did this week to the kicks. Often when she kicks, it's so strong it startles me. This weekend she kicked me on my left side (normally she kicks to the right) while I was laying on that side and I thought briefly I'd somehow laid on something sharp. Turns out it was her foot I laid on! I jumped up very high, much to his amusement. All week long I've been feeling rolling sensations and strong concentrated pressure in the form of a foot all over my belly. It's kind of fun, but it's starting to be a little uncomfortable. I'm trying to enjoy it, though. I really do love feeling her and I love that it means she's healthy in there!
I've also been reading more baby books. There's a lot to learn, but I am really starting to understand more about what my role will be as a mother and I feel better equipped by it. Aaron is reading some of the books too. Right now I'm reading Secrets of the Baby Whisperer which is REALLY good so far. I highly recommend it.
One more exciting thing! Aaron's department at work decided to throw us a baby shower. I figured my coworkers would probably not do something like that (I'll be lucky to get a card), but I never even thought about his. So, we will have it on February 9--my last week before leave. And a few weekends before that we will be having my regular shower. I can't wait to see what I get, because I'm ready to buy up the big stuff people don't get, but I don't want to do it until I know exactly what I have and don't have (and what I can return and be able to get store credit for). So, it's very exciting. I'm so excited!
--
For one, we finished our birthing class this week, and yet, I find myself barely ready for giving birth. I feel informed and well-equipped, but I just cannot imagine this baby coming out. I feel no Braxton-Hicks contractions or major discomfort that makes me think, "Get this baby out!" I guess when the time comes I will just know, but right now, I feel as though I'm in denial. I'll just be pregnant forever. Yes, I think that will work for me! Haha!
I finally decided that I will start maternity leave on February 15 (my birthday!). Which is not a moment too soon. Work has become pretty stressful for me. My boss is not a very good communicator and I find myself very intimidated when I'm talking to her. In general, I think she is a good boss, but often her comments leave me wondering, "Does she think I'm an idiot?" I think our personalities must clash or something and I'm more sensitive to it being pregnant, I think. I really like what I do though, so I'm happy to do it for awhile. It's just that I'm ready to start focusing on baby stuff! I want to finish buying baby items, get them all organized and washed and be ready for baby!
My mom is making plans to come out and visit a few days after my due date. That was the date the midwife recommended, since it is likely that I will give birth past my due date. I think I will too. I have always maintained I will have the baby on March 11 (I'm due March 4), so we shall see!
Baby is really kicking strong this week. Aaron, my husband, said he's never heard me react as much as I did this week to the kicks. Often when she kicks, it's so strong it startles me. This weekend she kicked me on my left side (normally she kicks to the right) while I was laying on that side and I thought briefly I'd somehow laid on something sharp. Turns out it was her foot I laid on! I jumped up very high, much to his amusement. All week long I've been feeling rolling sensations and strong concentrated pressure in the form of a foot all over my belly. It's kind of fun, but it's starting to be a little uncomfortable. I'm trying to enjoy it, though. I really do love feeling her and I love that it means she's healthy in there!
I've also been reading more baby books. There's a lot to learn, but I am really starting to understand more about what my role will be as a mother and I feel better equipped by it. Aaron is reading some of the books too. Right now I'm reading Secrets of the Baby Whisperer which is REALLY good so far. I highly recommend it.
One more exciting thing! Aaron's department at work decided to throw us a baby shower. I figured my coworkers would probably not do something like that (I'll be lucky to get a card), but I never even thought about his. So, we will have it on February 9--my last week before leave. And a few weekends before that we will be having my regular shower. I can't wait to see what I get, because I'm ready to buy up the big stuff people don't get, but I don't want to do it until I know exactly what I have and don't have (and what I can return and be able to get store credit for). So, it's very exciting. I'm so excited!
--
Monday, January 11, 2010
Week 31: The Baby is Taking Over my Thoughts!
I realized last night that pretty much every waking thought in my brain, when I'm not distracted with work or something else, is about the baby. All I want to do is talk about the baby, think about the baby, read about the baby, plan for the baby, feel the baby move, talk to the baby, and so on! When did I become baby crazy?!
We got back from the holidays on January 1, with no complications, which was great. I was still feeling a little cloudy because of my cold and I was concerned it would put a damper in my plans to rearrange the house for the baby. Turns out, it did, but only slightly. Since we had 2.5 days to move everything around, I was able to feel good enough for some part of each day that I could at least do some work. My husband helped out a great deal, doing some of the bigger tasks when I didn't feel up to it. And, we finally got everything in order! Our desk is now neatly organized in our living room and the 2nd bedroom is now a multipurpose guest room and baby area! We got rid of a large amount of extra furniture we didn't need and repurposed a few items to act as baby storage. We now have room for the baby and her stuff. Hooray!
Coming back to work wasn't as hard as I expected, because right off the bat, I was given a huge assignment that I have been focused on. But in my spare time, I'm starting to plan my maternity leave and it's coming up quick! At my latest appointment with my midwife I talked about the paperwork I needed to fill out for that and the pre-admission to the hospital, and I'm starting to be in total denial that I'm getting this close! In just a few weeks I will be considered "full term" which means I could give birth at any time and the baby wouldn't be premature. YIKES! I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet, even though I feel fairly prepared in my head, I'm a little shell shocked to be so close. Hopefully the next few weeks will allow me to get used to it.
The baby is head down right now, which is great! And, everything else is measuring right. So far, I've gained about 31 pounds, so I'm right on schedule. I would bet I'll gain 40 pounds by the end, but we shall see.
We got back from the holidays on January 1, with no complications, which was great. I was still feeling a little cloudy because of my cold and I was concerned it would put a damper in my plans to rearrange the house for the baby. Turns out, it did, but only slightly. Since we had 2.5 days to move everything around, I was able to feel good enough for some part of each day that I could at least do some work. My husband helped out a great deal, doing some of the bigger tasks when I didn't feel up to it. And, we finally got everything in order! Our desk is now neatly organized in our living room and the 2nd bedroom is now a multipurpose guest room and baby area! We got rid of a large amount of extra furniture we didn't need and repurposed a few items to act as baby storage. We now have room for the baby and her stuff. Hooray!
Coming back to work wasn't as hard as I expected, because right off the bat, I was given a huge assignment that I have been focused on. But in my spare time, I'm starting to plan my maternity leave and it's coming up quick! At my latest appointment with my midwife I talked about the paperwork I needed to fill out for that and the pre-admission to the hospital, and I'm starting to be in total denial that I'm getting this close! In just a few weeks I will be considered "full term" which means I could give birth at any time and the baby wouldn't be premature. YIKES! I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet, even though I feel fairly prepared in my head, I'm a little shell shocked to be so close. Hopefully the next few weeks will allow me to get used to it.
The baby is head down right now, which is great! And, everything else is measuring right. So far, I've gained about 31 pounds, so I'm right on schedule. I would bet I'll gain 40 pounds by the end, but we shall see.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Posted some back posts from Storknet
So, as you may or may not know, I also post a weekly journal on Storknet.com. I haven't been very good about posting here when I post there, so I went back and back-posted all the weeks I haven't updated on this blog, so you will see some new content and some content re-arranged in more sequential order now. Now you can see everything I post from this blog, so that will keep things more consistent!
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Baby is Getting BIG!
So the biggest development over the last week or two is that the baby is getting VERY big! I can tell this in 2 ways:
1) I can feel practically every movement she makes and the stronger ones are really distracting and often catch me by surprise. Aaron frequently hears me go, "Oh!" or "Ack!" in the middle of a quiet evening on the couch. It feels exactly like you would think it would feel if a little baby was kicking you, except you feel it inside, not outside.
2) My boobs finally look small in proportion to my belly and I know they aren't getting smaller because I'm outgrowing my larger bras. Ack! At least I don't just look like a playboy bunny with an extra-large stomach anymore!
Only 2 more months. I can't believe it's coming up so fast. We got the baby's room ready this weekend--moving around and getting rid of a ton of furniture. The house looks nice and uncluttered and ready for a 3rd, small person finally!
1) I can feel practically every movement she makes and the stronger ones are really distracting and often catch me by surprise. Aaron frequently hears me go, "Oh!" or "Ack!" in the middle of a quiet evening on the couch. It feels exactly like you would think it would feel if a little baby was kicking you, except you feel it inside, not outside.
2) My boobs finally look small in proportion to my belly and I know they aren't getting smaller because I'm outgrowing my larger bras. Ack! At least I don't just look like a playboy bunny with an extra-large stomach anymore!
Only 2 more months. I can't believe it's coming up so fast. We got the baby's room ready this weekend--moving around and getting rid of a ton of furniture. The house looks nice and uncluttered and ready for a 3rd, small person finally!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Week 30: The Holidays & Reflection on 2009
What a fun week. I love the holidays. Pregnancy-wise, the baby is definitely starting to get bigger! I can really feel her moving all the time. Even when she shifts a little, I think I can feel it. Rare are the times when I feel nothing. She seems to have hiccups between 2-4 times a day for about 5-10 minutes each time--I felt the jolty movements from the start without knowing what they were, but now they are big jolty movements and I read online that those are hiccups. She shifts from one side of my belly to the other easily, which I guess means she still has room in there to move around, but she is definitely growing, which is exciting!
We traveled from Indiana to Atlanta on Monday to join my family for the rest of the holidays, and that has been really nice. My mom threw me a baby shower Wednesday with some of her friends, who I don't really know, but they still came and brought me gifts anyway, which was incredibly generous of them! Unfortunately, I got sick on my way down to Atlanta, so I've been a bit out of sorts--nothing too serious, just a cold. I'm hoping this doesn't affect the travel back too much. We go back New Year's Day, which gives us a weekend free that I plan to use to FINALLY get the baby's room started! We will be moving furniture out of that room and just generally getting organized. And, I can't wait. I feel like it's been hanging over my head for forever.
In less positive news, I've decided that I need to find a therapist. As a teenager, when my hormones were raging (similar to now), I suffered from depression. And, I feel some definite symptoms of depression lately that I haven't felt since that time. I am pretty sure they are a result of my hormones again, and I was talking to my husband about possibly starting on anti-depressants. Since we don't really know if that can affect the baby, he wants me to try talking to a counselor first, so that will be a first order of business when we return home. Hopefully, I can get myself balanced out again before baby comes! Depression really sucks, especially when you know it's from a chemical imbalance inside that you can't do much about. But I know that I will get through it. I just don't want to miss out on any of the joy and excitement of pregnancy and a new baby!Thursday, December 24, 2009
Week 29: Traveling & My Baby Shower!
This week brought lots of adventure! We are taking two weeks off for
It's a good thing too, because if we'd had to wait a day later, I would have missed my baby shower, which was on Sunday. Originally, they were going to plan it for Saturday, so it's a very good thing they decided to do it on Sunday!
All my husband's family and a few of my close friends that still live in Indiana came out (I grew up in the same area as my husband, but my family has since moved). It was great to see everyone and I got some really great stuff! Mostly a lot of clothes and blankets and some money, which I think I might like best of all since I'm only starting to realize how much stuff I'm going to need for the baby. Since I registered at alternativegiftregistry.org and Babies R Us, I expected that I wouldn't get much off the registry (the first seems to confuse people and the second they don't have in this town), but I'd specifically requested a lot of handmade and second-hand items, which is what I got! It was quite a fun time and I felt like a princess being the center of attention. I'm so thankful for my friends and family who made it so special.
Happy Holidays to everyone!Thursday, December 17, 2009
Week 28: Dreaming of Our Baby
A few nights ago I watched The Business of Being Born, which is a documentary done by Ricki Lake about birth options besides hospitals and doctors. It explores childbirth throughout history and the safety of birth options available to women--debunking the myth that hospital birth is the safest choice. It was very well done and interesting and I am still haunted by the images of women who were given "twilight sleep" as a pain-relief option in childbirth (my great aunt was relaying to me at Thanksgiving that this is how she birthed at least one of her children in the 1940s, but until I watched the documentary last night, I had no idea what it was, and apparently she didn't either).
Again I teared up after seeing multiple women give birth to their babies. It's such a sweet and horrifying moment all at the same time, but I'm starting to be desensitized to it, which is good. And it made me long for the moment when I can meet my baby. After watching the movie, my husband and I took some time to read a book about how to get your baby to sleep through the night that my cousin gave us. We're preparing early. And, then, I went to bed.
All these thoughts of babies apparently put the baby on my brain while sleeping, because I dreamed about our baby being born. I dreamed about the moment she comes out--about
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Repost from Facebook: How to Help a Family with a Baby in the NICU
A friend of a friend on Facebook posted this recently and since I know a lot of pregnant ladies and have babies on the brain all the time, I thought this was very insightful. Hopefully no one I know will have to go through having a baby in the NICU, but just in case, it's really cool to have some info on what you can do to help. Hope this helps you if you know someone who has to deal with it!
We have a good number of friends who have babies in the in NICU. I was thinking about ways people helped us when Isabelle was in the NICU for 3 months. Maybe it will give you ideas to help families you know who's babies are in the NICU. Post any ideas you have too.
1. Gift cards to eat out.
Since we wanted to see our baby as much as possible, we spent a lot of time at the hospital. Some kind people gave us money to eat out or looked at the restaurants around the hospital and gave us gift cards to those places. If it is a long distance, gas cards are great too. If there is a Walmart around, a Walmart gift card is great because you can get gas and essentials at the same time.
2. Helped out around our house.
Normal house stuff seems so insignificant when your baby is in the hospital. It is a blessing if other people help you with it. Volunteer to do their laundry ever 4-5 days. Ask if you can clean their house once a week when they are at the hospital. Fill the fridge with basics. This time a year shovel the snow. Babysit the kids at night. (In most NICUs children are not allowed, so it can be hard for the parents to spend time together with their baby.)
3. Meals.
Nothing beats a good home cooked meal. Meals that took little to no prep were great. Meals that had little to no clean up were great too. There is a lot of running around when your child is in the NICU, so a bag of healthy snacks are great too.
4. Hand written cards.
Hand written cards are such a blessing in a time of trial. Reading from someone's own hand a verse God has used in their life and that they love your child was so encouraging. We had children make us cards. Adults wrote us notes. A lady typed out a Ron Hamilton song ("I am your creation") for us to put up in the room.
5. Praying for us.
Praying specifically for some requests we had was the best gift of all. We wanted God to work to specific ways, and it was awesome to know other people were talking to God about our cares too!
So now, you don't have to say, "If you need anything, tell me." (Like they are going to list for you all their needs. No one ever does that.)
But now you can say, "Do you mind if I give this to you?" or "Would you want someone to do this for you?"
Hope this helps you know how to help a family who has a child in the NICU.
Also, there's more info on NICU care packages here. This is a multiple-post story, so be sure to read on past the first one!
We have a good number of friends who have babies in the in NICU. I was thinking about ways people helped us when Isabelle was in the NICU for 3 months. Maybe it will give you ideas to help families you know who's babies are in the NICU. Post any ideas you have too.
1. Gift cards to eat out.
Since we wanted to see our baby as much as possible, we spent a lot of time at the hospital. Some kind people gave us money to eat out or looked at the restaurants around the hospital and gave us gift cards to those places. If it is a long distance, gas cards are great too. If there is a Walmart around, a Walmart gift card is great because you can get gas and essentials at the same time.
2. Helped out around our house.
Normal house stuff seems so insignificant when your baby is in the hospital. It is a blessing if other people help you with it. Volunteer to do their laundry ever 4-5 days. Ask if you can clean their house once a week when they are at the hospital. Fill the fridge with basics. This time a year shovel the snow. Babysit the kids at night. (In most NICUs children are not allowed, so it can be hard for the parents to spend time together with their baby.)
3. Meals.
Nothing beats a good home cooked meal. Meals that took little to no prep were great. Meals that had little to no clean up were great too. There is a lot of running around when your child is in the NICU, so a bag of healthy snacks are great too.
4. Hand written cards.
Hand written cards are such a blessing in a time of trial. Reading from someone's own hand a verse God has used in their life and that they love your child was so encouraging. We had children make us cards. Adults wrote us notes. A lady typed out a Ron Hamilton song ("I am your creation") for us to put up in the room.
5. Praying for us.
Praying specifically for some requests we had was the best gift of all. We wanted God to work to specific ways, and it was awesome to know other people were talking to God about our cares too!
So now, you don't have to say, "If you need anything, tell me." (Like they are going to list for you all their needs. No one ever does that.)
But now you can say, "Do you mind if I give this to you?" or "Would you want someone to do this for you?"
Hope this helps you know how to help a family who has a child in the NICU.
Also, there's more info on NICU care packages here. This is a multiple-post story, so be sure to read on past the first one!
Is it Bad that God is the Last Person I want to talk to when I'm emotional?
So, I hardly ever blog about my faith. But I gotta say that this ties in nicely to my experiences lately.
I've been emotional like nobody's business. Like a crazy person. And it's not consistent either. One day I will be fine and happy, and insults roll off my back. And the next day, every little tiny thing will set me off and I will be in tears. Ugh!
Being this teary and emotional has brought back flashbacks of high school. I was really emotional in high school--peaking right around age 18. Anyone who knew me then can attest to my ups and downs. I was vulnerable all the time--sensitive to my parents, to my school, and even sometimes to my friends. When I found pot, alcohol, and antidepressants, I thought I'd found my savior, because they regulated my emotions in a way that I was unable to do myself. It's the same now, minus the drugs, which I would definitely be doing if I wasn't pregnant.
What does all this have to do with God, you ask? Well, it was at that time that I became convinced that God was the reason for all my troubles. I blamed him for all the pain and emotion I was experiencing. I decided I hated him. I was going through a lot at the time, but the raging hormonal emotions didn't help matters. It made me confused about just about everything and forced me to survive by my emotions alone. So, when I went to church, my normal place to find solace, I actually found that thinking about God made me feel MORE emotional and vulnerable.
Both now and then when I am at my most teary, I cannot think about God. I cannot pray to God (other than maybe a quick prayer). I cannot read the Bible. Because literally nothing can penetrate the emotional wave I live on at that time. I am powerless against my emotions, struggling very VERY hard to keep it together at work (usually) or other public places. Thinking about God in that moment seems to make things worse. I get more emotional and cry more (probably because I am reliving on whatever it was that made me feel emotional in the first place). I feel like this is bad, but at the same time, I think it's an honest reflection of my vulnerability. Let's face it, God made me this way and he knows that I am powerless over my emotions at these times, which means that during the times when I am NOT feeling like an emotional mess, or I have the luxury of privacy, I can feel free to talk to him and read the Bible. And pray for those times when I won't have either, so he can at least keep them under control for me...
Anyway, this might not make sense, but I really had to get this out there. My emotions are saying so. :-)
I've been emotional like nobody's business. Like a crazy person. And it's not consistent either. One day I will be fine and happy, and insults roll off my back. And the next day, every little tiny thing will set me off and I will be in tears. Ugh!
Being this teary and emotional has brought back flashbacks of high school. I was really emotional in high school--peaking right around age 18. Anyone who knew me then can attest to my ups and downs. I was vulnerable all the time--sensitive to my parents, to my school, and even sometimes to my friends. When I found pot, alcohol, and antidepressants, I thought I'd found my savior, because they regulated my emotions in a way that I was unable to do myself. It's the same now, minus the drugs, which I would definitely be doing if I wasn't pregnant.
What does all this have to do with God, you ask? Well, it was at that time that I became convinced that God was the reason for all my troubles. I blamed him for all the pain and emotion I was experiencing. I decided I hated him. I was going through a lot at the time, but the raging hormonal emotions didn't help matters. It made me confused about just about everything and forced me to survive by my emotions alone. So, when I went to church, my normal place to find solace, I actually found that thinking about God made me feel MORE emotional and vulnerable.
Both now and then when I am at my most teary, I cannot think about God. I cannot pray to God (other than maybe a quick prayer). I cannot read the Bible. Because literally nothing can penetrate the emotional wave I live on at that time. I am powerless against my emotions, struggling very VERY hard to keep it together at work (usually) or other public places. Thinking about God in that moment seems to make things worse. I get more emotional and cry more (probably because I am reliving on whatever it was that made me feel emotional in the first place). I feel like this is bad, but at the same time, I think it's an honest reflection of my vulnerability. Let's face it, God made me this way and he knows that I am powerless over my emotions at these times, which means that during the times when I am NOT feeling like an emotional mess, or I have the luxury of privacy, I can feel free to talk to him and read the Bible. And pray for those times when I won't have either, so he can at least keep them under control for me...
Anyway, this might not make sense, but I really had to get this out there. My emotions are saying so. :-)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Week 27: I Can't Believe I've Come This Far
I'm in my third trimester! Holy cow! birth
! I can't believe myself. But at the same time, I'm glad I'm getting educated and desensitized to it. I think that is what I need right now.
When I was just edging out of the first trimester--around 12 weeks, I met a woman who was 27 weeks pregnant. I could barely tell she was pregnant, because she was sitting down and her shirt was rather baggy. I asked her how far along she was and she told me and I didn't know what to say. At that time, I'd only done research up until the beginning of the second trimester and, having never been 27 weeks pregnant before, I didn't know what to say besides, "Well, you're getting there!" She nodded and smiled. At that time, I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to get so far as 27 weeks and now, here I am.
Right now, I feel sort of in limbo. I'm starting to feel really
I've been attending my Bradley method birth classes and learning lot about first and second stage labor. We've been watching a lot of videos and, while I still find it unsettling to think about labor, I'm starting to feel a little more confident. I can't believe that I, who started out totally confident about natural labor, would get so disturbed by watching videos of women in labor and giving
Thanks to all of you who sent me encouraging emails about labor and birth. I read a really good article this week in Mothering magazine about natural labor that made me feel a bit more confident, along with more in the book, A Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. The Bradley class is also really helping me learn what I need to do now to prepare myself physically and mentally, so I've been really working hard on those things and I think I'm starting to feel more confident about going through it.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
New Revelation... Kids = Fun?
So, I had a revelation today. Really, really caught me off guard. A guy at my work was asking me when I was due. He's nearly 70 and has a grown daughter as well as a son in his 20s and another son who is about 19.
He said it seems like one minute you are having them, then time passes and you look back at pictures of them as babies and think, "that was the best time." He said that the time was "so fun" and everything was fun --going on vacations to fun kid places and so on.
And he made me think about it in a whole new light.
Since I've never been a person who loves kids or desperately wanted to have children, I never really stopped to consider the fun you can have with kids. Of course, I've thought that having my own child would have many fun and cute moments and it would be fullfilling and enjoyable, but I also tend to focus on the hard work and challenges. And, having been resistant to the idea of doing anything with kids for a long time, I'm starting to see the fun side. I'm starting to realize that this could be an opening to a world of fun I have never known. I will get to do fun kid things and I think that will make missing the adult things a little easier. I'm starting to think that while this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life, it's not necessarily a chapter filled with hard work, sleepless nights, and complaining about never getting to do anything fun anymore. Instead, I see it as a new chapter of fun--one that will require some effort and adjustment, but also one that will open up a whole new world to me that I'll get to enjoy and be a part of. And, that's kinda cool.
And, it doesn't rule out adult fun altogether. It just adds a new dimension and flavor to my already varied and busy life. And I like that. I'm looking forward to it!
He said it seems like one minute you are having them, then time passes and you look back at pictures of them as babies and think, "that was the best time." He said that the time was "so fun" and everything was fun --going on vacations to fun kid places and so on.
And he made me think about it in a whole new light.
Since I've never been a person who loves kids or desperately wanted to have children, I never really stopped to consider the fun you can have with kids. Of course, I've thought that having my own child would have many fun and cute moments and it would be fullfilling and enjoyable, but I also tend to focus on the hard work and challenges. And, having been resistant to the idea of doing anything with kids for a long time, I'm starting to see the fun side. I'm starting to realize that this could be an opening to a world of fun I have never known. I will get to do fun kid things and I think that will make missing the adult things a little easier. I'm starting to think that while this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life, it's not necessarily a chapter filled with hard work, sleepless nights, and complaining about never getting to do anything fun anymore. Instead, I see it as a new chapter of fun--one that will require some effort and adjustment, but also one that will open up a whole new world to me that I'll get to enjoy and be a part of. And, that's kinda cool.
And, it doesn't rule out adult fun altogether. It just adds a new dimension and flavor to my already varied and busy life. And I like that. I'm looking forward to it!
Week 26: Thanksgiving and More!
This week was very eventful!
First, the holidays. My husband and I had a Pre-Thanksgiving party for all our friends on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. I cooked a turkey (which turned out awesome by the way--little tip: cook the turkey breast-side down), stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and gravy, and everyone else brought lots of food. It was delicious and tons of fun! Although, I think it's getting a little harder to host big parties like that because I get tired so easily.
Then we went to Santa Barbara to visit my uncle for Thanksgiving. We got to spend a lot of time with my 6 year old cousin which was really fun and interesting for us. For one thing, Aaron loves kids and he spent nearly all his time hanging out with her. It was so adorable. They played
Second, I decided to dye my hair. Before you get upset that I polluted my body and my baby with chemicals, let me say that I did not make this decision lightly. My doctor's office said that you could not dye your hair during the first trimester and, fundamentally, I am against doing it at all during pregnancy. But then my doctor said that she did it while she was pregnant and she didn't seem to think it was a big deal. I did my own independent research on hair dyes and pregnancy and found very conflicting opinions and research. Everything from "It's no big deal! Go for it" to "absolutely never ever." In the end, it looks like research has been inconclusive. So, I did some research on natural dyes that worked and semi-natural dyes (like Aveda) and decided I would do Aveda, since they have very few chemicals in their hair dye. Then, I found the cosmetics database online which rates all kinds of skin, hair, and makeup products for potential toxins and I found out that Aveda was ranked 6 out of 10 (10 being the most toxic) and really wasn't that great after all. But, it was less toxic than most hair dye. So, considering this, and that I could save money by dyeing my hair at home, I found another hair dye rated the same as Aveda that I could do at home. And I used that. I wouldn't have done it at all, except my hair was three different colors from dyeing it blond last year.
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