How am I feeling?

So, I've got a lot of people asking me how I'm feeling and, in general, I feel pretty darn good. However, I think for once I'll share the nitty gritty details on how I'm REALLY feeling in the not-so-good moments. Keep in mind that overall I'm great, but these are the downsides...

So, the realities of my life these days has been that I'm in bed for 12 hours a day. I go to bed early, usually exhausted beyond belief and wake up a few hours later to feed Amelia. Then, the rest of the night is an up and down struggle between trying to sleep and feeding and changing her. Aaron typically will give her a bottle for one of the night feedings and I can get some sleep and I *think* we have finally worked out an arrangement where I get a straight 6-7 hours sleep and then a few extra hours later, so hopefully that continues and reduces my exhaustion.

When my milk first came in the first week is when I started having migraines. I was shocked to find out that breastfeeding literally, at first, sucked the life out of me. Or, so I thought. After a week or so of suffering horrible on and off headaches that I attributed to everything from extreme thirst and hunger to fatigue to bad breastfeeding posture, I saw a doctor who told me they were migraines and now I can appropriately treat them before they get really bad. That is such a relief. Sometimes when I overdo it, I still get them, but a lot less frequently than I did.

Other not-so-nice things that have been happening are INSANE night sweats. If you couldn't tell by the emphasis on the word insane in the last sentance, they are by far the worst I have ever had. I wake up literally drenched--like I took a bath in my bed. I wake up with my clothes and sheets soaked and cold. I tried changing once in the middle of the night, but the sheets were still soaked, soaking my dry clothes. So, now I say screw it and just pull the warm comforter over my head to keep warm.

I also hate that I can't really work out yet. I tried walking 3 miles the other day and one of those awful migraines came back, so I can assume I'm not ready to do that yet. I feel so fat. I've barely lost anything and I am eating super healthy and breastfeeding! I thought that would do it!

I can't fit into anything but sweatpants and I still look at least 4 months pregnant plus all the weight I gained everywhere else. Other things that aren't so fun include painful and leaky boobs and the fact that I'm still not done with my after-birth Aunt Flow as it were... getting closer, but still not there.

Still, I can't complain. My baby sleeps great and hardly ever cries. I have enough energy in the mornings to get stuff done and every day I'm making progress--but much slower than I ever expected! Who knew that after baby would be harder than 9 months pregnant. I just figured I'd go back to how I was, but with weight to lose. Turns out that's not quite right. I hope I get back to normal soon. It's relieving to see the progress I've made in the last 4 weeks, so that's keeping me encouraged.