Thursday, August 5, 2010

Looking Behind No More

It's so interesting to me that I have a new job. I can't believe it. I'm not talking about the job of being a mother. I'm talking about a new job for pay that I'm currently working at right now.

It's amazing. I think about all the things I left behind at my last job: the hard-to-work-with boss who made my life and coworkers nervous and unhappy. I'm so thankful I never again have to face her boss and pretend to be interested in her narcissistic comments about her taste in wine, her boat, how much money she spends on this and that, the parties she and and her husband throw and never invite us to. I never again have to suck up to her or pretend to care about what she says the company is doing. I never have to be filled with terror at the prospect of entering my old boss' office for a meeting. Thank God. THANK GOD!

I've moved on. It's hard to remember sometimes. Sometimes I feel like this is just a fake job--a maternity leave job that I'll leave and have to go back to the old job when my baby gets bigger. But I don't. What a beautiful thing to leave it all behind. To start a new chapter. A new baby. A new job. A new life. It feels so freeing. Yes, it's work. Yes, it's back to the daily grind of endless days of toil in hopes to save money to one day retire. Yes, it's very hard to commute for 1.5 hours each way and know I'm missing 12 hours a day of my baby's rapidly changing life.

But in a positive environment and in a new adventure. And I'm so thankful I get to do it. I'm so thankful that God opened this door for me at just the right time and closed a door for Aaron at the perfect time so he could stay at home with our daughter. What a privilege! And I know the right opportunity will present itself for him when the time comes. And I know I'm doing the right thing for my family by working so we can have a roof over our heads and food to eat. It's another way of nurturing my child.

I can't believe I don't have to go back. I'm so glad. So glad. So so so glad.

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