Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Week 30: The Holidays & Reflection on 2009
What a fun week. I love the holidays. Pregnancy-wise, the baby is definitely starting to get bigger! I can really feel her moving all the time. Even when she shifts a little, I think I can feel it. Rare are the times when I feel nothing. She seems to have hiccups between 2-4 times a day for about 5-10 minutes each time--I felt the jolty movements from the start without knowing what they were, but now they are big jolty movements and I read online that those are hiccups. She shifts from one side of my belly to the other easily, which I guess means she still has room in there to move around, but she is definitely growing, which is exciting!
We traveled from Indiana to Atlanta on Monday to join my family for the rest of the holidays, and that has been really nice. My mom threw me a baby shower Wednesday with some of her friends, who I don't really know, but they still came and brought me gifts anyway, which was incredibly generous of them! Unfortunately, I got sick on my way down to Atlanta, so I've been a bit out of sorts--nothing too serious, just a cold. I'm hoping this doesn't affect the travel back too much. We go back New Year's Day, which gives us a weekend free that I plan to use to FINALLY get the baby's room started! We will be moving furniture out of that room and just generally getting organized. And, I can't wait. I feel like it's been hanging over my head for forever.
In less positive news, I've decided that I need to find a therapist. As a teenager, when my hormones were raging (similar to now), I suffered from depression. And, I feel some definite symptoms of depression lately that I haven't felt since that time. I am pretty sure they are a result of my hormones again, and I was talking to my husband about possibly starting on anti-depressants. Since we don't really know if that can affect the baby, he wants me to try talking to a counselor first, so that will be a first order of business when we return home. Hopefully, I can get myself balanced out again before baby comes! Depression really sucks, especially when you know it's from a chemical imbalance inside that you can't do much about. But I know that I will get through it. I just don't want to miss out on any of the joy and excitement of pregnancy and a new baby!Thursday, December 24, 2009
Week 29: Traveling & My Baby Shower!
This week brought lots of adventure! We are taking two weeks off for 
It's a good thing too, because if we'd had to wait a day later, I would have missed my baby shower, which was on Sunday. Originally, they were going to plan it for Saturday, so it's a very good thing they decided to do it on Sunday!
All my husband's family and a few of my close friends that still live in Indiana came out (I grew up in the same area as my husband, but my family has since moved). It was great to see everyone and I got some really great stuff! Mostly a lot of clothes and blankets and some money, which I think I might like best of all since I'm only starting to realize how much stuff I'm going to need for the baby. Since I registered at alternativegiftregistry.org and Babies R Us, I expected that I wouldn't get much off the registry (the first seems to confuse people and the second they don't have in this town), but I'd specifically requested a lot of handmade and second-hand items, which is what I got! It was quite a fun time and I felt like a princess being the center of attention. I'm so thankful for my friends and family who made it so special.
Happy Holidays to everyone!Thursday, December 17, 2009
Week 28: Dreaming of Our Baby
A few nights ago I watched The Business of Being Born, which is a documentary done by Ricki Lake about birth options besides hospitals and doctors. It explores childbirth throughout history and the safety of birth options available to women--debunking the myth that hospital birth is the safest choice. It was very well done and interesting and I am still haunted by the images of women who were given "twilight sleep" as a pain-relief option in childbirth (my great aunt was relaying to me at Thanksgiving that this is how she birthed at least one of her children in the 1940s, but until I watched the documentary last night, I had no idea what it was, and apparently she didn't either).
Again I teared up after seeing multiple women give birth to their babies. It's such a sweet and horrifying moment all at the same time, but I'm starting to be desensitized to it, which is good. And it made me long for the moment when I can meet my baby. After watching the movie, my husband and I took some time to read a book about how to get your baby to sleep through the night that my cousin gave us. We're preparing early. And, then, I went to bed.
All these thoughts of babies apparently put the baby on my brain while sleeping, because I dreamed about our baby being born. I dreamed about the moment she comes out--about
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Repost from Facebook: How to Help a Family with a Baby in the NICU
A friend of a friend on Facebook posted this recently and since I know a lot of pregnant ladies and have babies on the brain all the time, I thought this was very insightful. Hopefully no one I know will have to go through having a baby in the NICU, but just in case, it's really cool to have some info on what you can do to help. Hope this helps you if you know someone who has to deal with it!
We have a good number of friends who have babies in the in NICU. I was thinking about ways people helped us when Isabelle was in the NICU for 3 months. Maybe it will give you ideas to help families you know who's babies are in the NICU. Post any ideas you have too.
1. Gift cards to eat out.
Since we wanted to see our baby as much as possible, we spent a lot of time at the hospital. Some kind people gave us money to eat out or looked at the restaurants around the hospital and gave us gift cards to those places. If it is a long distance, gas cards are great too. If there is a Walmart around, a Walmart gift card is great because you can get gas and essentials at the same time.
2. Helped out around our house.
Normal house stuff seems so insignificant when your baby is in the hospital. It is a blessing if other people help you with it. Volunteer to do their laundry ever 4-5 days. Ask if you can clean their house once a week when they are at the hospital. Fill the fridge with basics. This time a year shovel the snow. Babysit the kids at night. (In most NICUs children are not allowed, so it can be hard for the parents to spend time together with their baby.)
3. Meals.
Nothing beats a good home cooked meal. Meals that took little to no prep were great. Meals that had little to no clean up were great too. There is a lot of running around when your child is in the NICU, so a bag of healthy snacks are great too.
4. Hand written cards.
Hand written cards are such a blessing in a time of trial. Reading from someone's own hand a verse God has used in their life and that they love your child was so encouraging. We had children make us cards. Adults wrote us notes. A lady typed out a Ron Hamilton song ("I am your creation") for us to put up in the room.
5. Praying for us.
Praying specifically for some requests we had was the best gift of all. We wanted God to work to specific ways, and it was awesome to know other people were talking to God about our cares too!
So now, you don't have to say, "If you need anything, tell me." (Like they are going to list for you all their needs. No one ever does that.)
But now you can say, "Do you mind if I give this to you?" or "Would you want someone to do this for you?"
Hope this helps you know how to help a family who has a child in the NICU.
Also, there's more info on NICU care packages here. This is a multiple-post story, so be sure to read on past the first one!
We have a good number of friends who have babies in the in NICU. I was thinking about ways people helped us when Isabelle was in the NICU for 3 months. Maybe it will give you ideas to help families you know who's babies are in the NICU. Post any ideas you have too.
1. Gift cards to eat out.
Since we wanted to see our baby as much as possible, we spent a lot of time at the hospital. Some kind people gave us money to eat out or looked at the restaurants around the hospital and gave us gift cards to those places. If it is a long distance, gas cards are great too. If there is a Walmart around, a Walmart gift card is great because you can get gas and essentials at the same time.
2. Helped out around our house.
Normal house stuff seems so insignificant when your baby is in the hospital. It is a blessing if other people help you with it. Volunteer to do their laundry ever 4-5 days. Ask if you can clean their house once a week when they are at the hospital. Fill the fridge with basics. This time a year shovel the snow. Babysit the kids at night. (In most NICUs children are not allowed, so it can be hard for the parents to spend time together with their baby.)
3. Meals.
Nothing beats a good home cooked meal. Meals that took little to no prep were great. Meals that had little to no clean up were great too. There is a lot of running around when your child is in the NICU, so a bag of healthy snacks are great too.
4. Hand written cards.
Hand written cards are such a blessing in a time of trial. Reading from someone's own hand a verse God has used in their life and that they love your child was so encouraging. We had children make us cards. Adults wrote us notes. A lady typed out a Ron Hamilton song ("I am your creation") for us to put up in the room.
5. Praying for us.
Praying specifically for some requests we had was the best gift of all. We wanted God to work to specific ways, and it was awesome to know other people were talking to God about our cares too!
So now, you don't have to say, "If you need anything, tell me." (Like they are going to list for you all their needs. No one ever does that.)
But now you can say, "Do you mind if I give this to you?" or "Would you want someone to do this for you?"
Hope this helps you know how to help a family who has a child in the NICU.
Also, there's more info on NICU care packages here. This is a multiple-post story, so be sure to read on past the first one!
Is it Bad that God is the Last Person I want to talk to when I'm emotional?
So, I hardly ever blog about my faith. But I gotta say that this ties in nicely to my experiences lately.
I've been emotional like nobody's business. Like a crazy person. And it's not consistent either. One day I will be fine and happy, and insults roll off my back. And the next day, every little tiny thing will set me off and I will be in tears. Ugh!
Being this teary and emotional has brought back flashbacks of high school. I was really emotional in high school--peaking right around age 18. Anyone who knew me then can attest to my ups and downs. I was vulnerable all the time--sensitive to my parents, to my school, and even sometimes to my friends. When I found pot, alcohol, and antidepressants, I thought I'd found my savior, because they regulated my emotions in a way that I was unable to do myself. It's the same now, minus the drugs, which I would definitely be doing if I wasn't pregnant.
What does all this have to do with God, you ask? Well, it was at that time that I became convinced that God was the reason for all my troubles. I blamed him for all the pain and emotion I was experiencing. I decided I hated him. I was going through a lot at the time, but the raging hormonal emotions didn't help matters. It made me confused about just about everything and forced me to survive by my emotions alone. So, when I went to church, my normal place to find solace, I actually found that thinking about God made me feel MORE emotional and vulnerable.
Both now and then when I am at my most teary, I cannot think about God. I cannot pray to God (other than maybe a quick prayer). I cannot read the Bible. Because literally nothing can penetrate the emotional wave I live on at that time. I am powerless against my emotions, struggling very VERY hard to keep it together at work (usually) or other public places. Thinking about God in that moment seems to make things worse. I get more emotional and cry more (probably because I am reliving on whatever it was that made me feel emotional in the first place). I feel like this is bad, but at the same time, I think it's an honest reflection of my vulnerability. Let's face it, God made me this way and he knows that I am powerless over my emotions at these times, which means that during the times when I am NOT feeling like an emotional mess, or I have the luxury of privacy, I can feel free to talk to him and read the Bible. And pray for those times when I won't have either, so he can at least keep them under control for me...
Anyway, this might not make sense, but I really had to get this out there. My emotions are saying so. :-)
I've been emotional like nobody's business. Like a crazy person. And it's not consistent either. One day I will be fine and happy, and insults roll off my back. And the next day, every little tiny thing will set me off and I will be in tears. Ugh!
Being this teary and emotional has brought back flashbacks of high school. I was really emotional in high school--peaking right around age 18. Anyone who knew me then can attest to my ups and downs. I was vulnerable all the time--sensitive to my parents, to my school, and even sometimes to my friends. When I found pot, alcohol, and antidepressants, I thought I'd found my savior, because they regulated my emotions in a way that I was unable to do myself. It's the same now, minus the drugs, which I would definitely be doing if I wasn't pregnant.
What does all this have to do with God, you ask? Well, it was at that time that I became convinced that God was the reason for all my troubles. I blamed him for all the pain and emotion I was experiencing. I decided I hated him. I was going through a lot at the time, but the raging hormonal emotions didn't help matters. It made me confused about just about everything and forced me to survive by my emotions alone. So, when I went to church, my normal place to find solace, I actually found that thinking about God made me feel MORE emotional and vulnerable.
Both now and then when I am at my most teary, I cannot think about God. I cannot pray to God (other than maybe a quick prayer). I cannot read the Bible. Because literally nothing can penetrate the emotional wave I live on at that time. I am powerless against my emotions, struggling very VERY hard to keep it together at work (usually) or other public places. Thinking about God in that moment seems to make things worse. I get more emotional and cry more (probably because I am reliving on whatever it was that made me feel emotional in the first place). I feel like this is bad, but at the same time, I think it's an honest reflection of my vulnerability. Let's face it, God made me this way and he knows that I am powerless over my emotions at these times, which means that during the times when I am NOT feeling like an emotional mess, or I have the luxury of privacy, I can feel free to talk to him and read the Bible. And pray for those times when I won't have either, so he can at least keep them under control for me...
Anyway, this might not make sense, but I really had to get this out there. My emotions are saying so. :-)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Week 27: I Can't Believe I've Come This Far
I'm in my third trimester! Holy cow! birth ! I can't believe myself. But at the same time, I'm glad I'm getting educated and desensitized to it. I think that is what I need right now.
When I was just edging out of the first trimester--around 12 weeks, I met a woman who was 27 weeks pregnant. I could barely tell she was pregnant, because she was sitting down and her shirt was rather baggy. I asked her how far along she was and she told me and I didn't know what to say. At that time, I'd only done research up until the beginning of the second trimester and, having never been 27 weeks pregnant before, I didn't know what to say besides, "Well, you're getting there!" She nodded and smiled. At that time, I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to get so far as 27 weeks and now, here I am.
Right now, I feel sort of in limbo. I'm starting to feel really
I've been attending my Bradley method birth classes and learning lot about first and second stage labor. We've been watching a lot of videos and, while I still find it unsettling to think about labor, I'm starting to feel a little more confident. I can't believe that I, who started out totally confident about natural labor, would get so disturbed by watching videos of women in labor and giving
Thanks to all of you who sent me encouraging emails about labor and birth. I read a really good article this week in Mothering magazine about natural labor that made me feel a bit more confident, along with more in the book, A Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. The Bradley class is also really helping me learn what I need to do now to prepare myself physically and mentally, so I've been really working hard on those things and I think I'm starting to feel more confident about going through it.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
New Revelation... Kids = Fun?
So, I had a revelation today. Really, really caught me off guard. A guy at my work was asking me when I was due. He's nearly 70 and has a grown daughter as well as a son in his 20s and another son who is about 19.
He said it seems like one minute you are having them, then time passes and you look back at pictures of them as babies and think, "that was the best time." He said that the time was "so fun" and everything was fun --going on vacations to fun kid places and so on.
And he made me think about it in a whole new light.
Since I've never been a person who loves kids or desperately wanted to have children, I never really stopped to consider the fun you can have with kids. Of course, I've thought that having my own child would have many fun and cute moments and it would be fullfilling and enjoyable, but I also tend to focus on the hard work and challenges. And, having been resistant to the idea of doing anything with kids for a long time, I'm starting to see the fun side. I'm starting to realize that this could be an opening to a world of fun I have never known. I will get to do fun kid things and I think that will make missing the adult things a little easier. I'm starting to think that while this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life, it's not necessarily a chapter filled with hard work, sleepless nights, and complaining about never getting to do anything fun anymore. Instead, I see it as a new chapter of fun--one that will require some effort and adjustment, but also one that will open up a whole new world to me that I'll get to enjoy and be a part of. And, that's kinda cool.
And, it doesn't rule out adult fun altogether. It just adds a new dimension and flavor to my already varied and busy life. And I like that. I'm looking forward to it!
He said it seems like one minute you are having them, then time passes and you look back at pictures of them as babies and think, "that was the best time." He said that the time was "so fun" and everything was fun --going on vacations to fun kid places and so on.
And he made me think about it in a whole new light.
Since I've never been a person who loves kids or desperately wanted to have children, I never really stopped to consider the fun you can have with kids. Of course, I've thought that having my own child would have many fun and cute moments and it would be fullfilling and enjoyable, but I also tend to focus on the hard work and challenges. And, having been resistant to the idea of doing anything with kids for a long time, I'm starting to see the fun side. I'm starting to realize that this could be an opening to a world of fun I have never known. I will get to do fun kid things and I think that will make missing the adult things a little easier. I'm starting to think that while this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life, it's not necessarily a chapter filled with hard work, sleepless nights, and complaining about never getting to do anything fun anymore. Instead, I see it as a new chapter of fun--one that will require some effort and adjustment, but also one that will open up a whole new world to me that I'll get to enjoy and be a part of. And, that's kinda cool.
And, it doesn't rule out adult fun altogether. It just adds a new dimension and flavor to my already varied and busy life. And I like that. I'm looking forward to it!
Week 26: Thanksgiving and More!
This week was very eventful!
First, the holidays. My husband and I had a Pre-Thanksgiving party for all our friends on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. I cooked a turkey (which turned out awesome by the way--little tip: cook the turkey breast-side down), stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and gravy, and everyone else brought lots of food. It was delicious and tons of fun! Although, I think it's getting a little harder to host big parties like that because I get tired so easily.
Then we went to Santa Barbara to visit my uncle for Thanksgiving. We got to spend a lot of time with my 6 year old cousin which was really fun and interesting for us. For one thing, Aaron loves kids and he spent nearly all his time hanging out with her. It was so adorable. They played
Second, I decided to dye my hair. Before you get upset that I polluted my body and my baby with chemicals, let me say that I did not make this decision lightly. My doctor's office said that you could not dye your hair during the first trimester and, fundamentally, I am against doing it at all during pregnancy. But then my doctor said that she did it while she was pregnant and she didn't seem to think it was a big deal. I did my own independent research on hair dyes and pregnancy and found very conflicting opinions and research. Everything from "It's no big deal! Go for it" to "absolutely never ever." In the end, it looks like research has been inconclusive. So, I did some research on natural dyes that worked and semi-natural dyes (like Aveda) and decided I would do Aveda, since they have very few chemicals in their hair dye. Then, I found the cosmetics database online which rates all kinds of skin, hair, and makeup products for potential toxins and I found out that Aveda was ranked 6 out of 10 (10 being the most toxic) and really wasn't that great after all. But, it was less toxic than most hair dye. So, considering this, and that I could save money by dyeing my hair at home, I found another hair dye rated the same as Aveda that I could do at home. And I used that. I wouldn't have done it at all, except my hair was three different colors from dyeing it blond last year.
Monday, November 30, 2009
26 Weeks Pregnant
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! On Thanksgiving day I turned 26 weeks pregnant, so we took a picture at my uncle's house in Santa Barbara where we were visiting:
A week or so prior, I broke down and bought some non-alcoholic beer to kill the cravings I've had for beer lately. I also dyed my hair with the safest dye I could find (believe me I researched insanely). So here's a picture of me looking like a pretty white trash irresponsible mother: holey shirt, beer, and dying my hair. And pregnant. hahahahaha!
A week or so prior, I broke down and bought some non-alcoholic beer to kill the cravings I've had for beer lately. I also dyed my hair with the safest dye I could find (believe me I researched insanely). So here's a picture of me looking like a pretty white trash irresponsible mother: holey shirt, beer, and dying my hair. And pregnant. hahahahaha!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Week 25: Why Does Labor Seem so Scary?
Last week, I talked about how I got a little freaked out by the birthing class video. This week, it seems like everything I did confirmed any fears I had about pain . . .
Up until now, I've pretty firmly believed that I could handle it, that it would be something I could deal with without too much issue. But now, after hearing stories from other people and thinking through how I really manage pain, I am really starting to get a bit concerned. I think it's a healthy concern. It's better for me to address these fears now than in the throes of labor.
First, I was given a lot of homework in the Bradley class. Mostly this consists of an outrageous number of Kegels and many other exercises to aid in labor. I'm starting to get the idea that this is going to be like an athletic event. And I feel like I am training for it. I suppose if I approach it that way, that's the best thing I could do. It's a test of endurance really.
Second, I was talking to the midwife today and she talked to me about not being so averse to the epidural so that if I have to have one for some reason I won't feel very upset or ashamed. And, I will acknowledge that while I don't want an epidural and I am vehemently opposed to them, I understand that there's a slight chance I may want one. She gave the example of a 3 day labor where you've been up for 3 days and all you want to do is sleep, so the epidural can help with that. Well, that kind of worried me. Three days? Would I really not be able to sleep? Surely I could find a way to rest during those 3 days even if I couldn't sleep that would still allow me to be prepared for the hard work of labor in the end? Surely!
Third, while I was in the office I got an H1N1 shot. Needles freak me out a bit, so I tried a relaxing breathing exercise from the Bradley class when she was sticking me for about 10 seconds and I still felt a lot of pain and it was difficult to distract myself from it. And it was just a tiny needle! I started to wonder, can I really handle the pain of labor?
I think maybe up until now I really sort of thought I would have mental strength and preparation available to me to just call upon during labor. That when I got to that point, I would be ready, but now I'm starting to think that if I want to be prepared, I better really approach this like something I'm hard-core training for. I'm wondering if I should have my husband pinch me for 30 seconds or something so I can try breathing deeply through it and not being tense. I'm going to start religiously doing my exercises and practicing mind over matter.
But thinking about it this way makes me think that maybe I won't be able to relax when I get there. I previously believed I'd bring my knitting and some interesting TV shows to distract me from the pain. I figured I'd basically be just hanging out, walking the hallways, sitting on a birthing ball, knitting, and watching my shows until things got intense, when TV might still help distract me... But, I don't think that's realistic either. Somewhere in the middle there must be a balance. I'd welcome any advice anyone has on how to prepare for this. It really seems like the fear of the unknown is the problem here--you just never know how it's going to go. You might get a great, easy birth, or you might get a long (or short) intense and painful one... Since I don't know, I don't know how to prepare, and that might be concerning me most of all.Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The Realities are Starting to Sink In Even More!
So I am 24 weeks or 6 months (if you are counting the traditional way, which most people do) today.
I am definitely wearing maternity clothes or bigger-than-normal regular clothes at this point (mostly just shirts in that category) and feeling the baby move all the time.
Aaron's cousin and his wife had a baby last week and, looking at the pictures, I was very excited to know that was going to be us soon--and a little jealous that they were already there. Although, I have so much to do before the baby is born, I'm not that worried about it.
One thing I realized this week, though, was just how infrequently I will be able to go and do fun things with just my husband. We won't really be able to just take off and go do something me and him. I started to get a little scared and worried about it because we don't have family around, so we don't even have the option of dropping off the baby with the grandparents and going to do something together or with other people, if we are invited out. Our options will instead be: 1) One of us goes, 2) We pay for someone to watch the baby, or 3) we bring the baby. For most situations in the evening, #3 really won't work... Not in a nice restaurant or in a bar, anyway. On the plus side, I'm compiling lists of fun things we can do with the baby during the day and reminding myself we can still do some evening things with the baby--just not as many and not as often.
But, I'm mourning my loss of freedom a bit right now and realizing that I must LIVE IT UP NOW! While I still can...
Other new baby developments include:
* We start the Bradley Method birthing class next week and I'm reading The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. That part I've been thinking about for awhile, but realizing that if the baby was accidentally born early, like right around now, she might be able to survive, is putting it into perspective.
* My cousin also sent us a big box of baby toys--overwhelming!
* We bought our plane tickets back to the Midwest and the South for Christmas where we will have baby showers and such.
* I scheduled a new parenting class and a breastfeeding class
* I'm starting to think about meal planning for after the baby is born so that I can still eat healthy and hopefully do so without breaking the bank.
* We learned about our new benefits coming out in January and I learned what it will cost me to have a baby and had to think through what will happen to add the baby to our insurance when she is born.
The realities of all the Dr's appointments the baby will need and that I'm going to be giving birth a short 2 months after the new year and that my maternity leave starts in just 3 months or less is starting to make it all seem real. Really real. I just hope I can get everything ready in time!
I am definitely wearing maternity clothes or bigger-than-normal regular clothes at this point (mostly just shirts in that category) and feeling the baby move all the time.
Aaron's cousin and his wife had a baby last week and, looking at the pictures, I was very excited to know that was going to be us soon--and a little jealous that they were already there. Although, I have so much to do before the baby is born, I'm not that worried about it.
One thing I realized this week, though, was just how infrequently I will be able to go and do fun things with just my husband. We won't really be able to just take off and go do something me and him. I started to get a little scared and worried about it because we don't have family around, so we don't even have the option of dropping off the baby with the grandparents and going to do something together or with other people, if we are invited out. Our options will instead be: 1) One of us goes, 2) We pay for someone to watch the baby, or 3) we bring the baby. For most situations in the evening, #3 really won't work... Not in a nice restaurant or in a bar, anyway. On the plus side, I'm compiling lists of fun things we can do with the baby during the day and reminding myself we can still do some evening things with the baby--just not as many and not as often.
But, I'm mourning my loss of freedom a bit right now and realizing that I must LIVE IT UP NOW! While I still can...
Other new baby developments include:
* We start the Bradley Method birthing class next week and I'm reading The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. That part I've been thinking about for awhile, but realizing that if the baby was accidentally born early, like right around now, she might be able to survive, is putting it into perspective.
* My cousin also sent us a big box of baby toys--overwhelming!
* We bought our plane tickets back to the Midwest and the South for Christmas where we will have baby showers and such.
* I scheduled a new parenting class and a breastfeeding class
* I'm starting to think about meal planning for after the baby is born so that I can still eat healthy and hopefully do so without breaking the bank.
* We learned about our new benefits coming out in January and I learned what it will cost me to have a baby and had to think through what will happen to add the baby to our insurance when she is born.
The realities of all the Dr's appointments the baby will need and that I'm going to be giving birth a short 2 months after the new year and that my maternity leave starts in just 3 months or less is starting to make it all seem real. Really real. I just hope I can get everything ready in time!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Stuff I knitted for the baby!
So lots of people have been asking me if I am knitting stuff for the baby and the answer is, "of course!" Here are some of the projects I've knitted so far. Many, many more to come!
Baby hats and mittens, probably for friends and maybe for me too.
Baby booties and socks.
Baby sweater. I made this one in case I was having a boy, but it is unisex! Designed totally by me. And this was tough. I used Barbara Walker's Knitting from the Top, which, by the way, is NOT easy to follow!
Baby sweater for a girl. I made this first. I got the idea for it when I first got pregnant. Designed it myself.
Baby hats and mittens, probably for friends and maybe for me too.
Baby booties and socks.
Baby sweater. I made this one in case I was having a boy, but it is unisex! Designed totally by me. And this was tough. I used Barbara Walker's Knitting from the Top, which, by the way, is NOT easy to follow!
Baby sweater for a girl. I made this first. I got the idea for it when I first got pregnant. Designed it myself.
Aaron's Cousin Had Her Baby!
Leila Marie Kirk was born on Friday, November 7, 2009. She was 9lbs 8oz and her mom pushed her out in 4 hours total! Can you imagine?! Whew! Emma (her mom) was induced on Friday after being a week or two overdue.
Congratulations to Daniel and Emma Kirk on their adorable little angel! :-)
Sunday, November 1, 2009
22 Weeks Pregnant and Pregnant Skeleton Halloween Costume!
So, here is me at 22 weeks:
Here is a picture of the Husband and I for Halloween. He was a Ninja and I was a pregnant skeleton. Apparently this is a Karate Kid reference and we didn't even know it! I guess in the Karate kid that is how they dressed up for some Halloween party. Hilarious!
More of my Halloween Costume. I made it myself by using fabric paint on a big pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt. Note the baby skeleton. The outfit fit big, though, so you couldn't necessarily tell I was pregnant always, so people often missed the baby skeleton or, if they saw it, weren't sure if it was because I was pregnant. haha... funny!
Here is a picture of the Husband and I for Halloween. He was a Ninja and I was a pregnant skeleton. Apparently this is a Karate Kid reference and we didn't even know it! I guess in the Karate kid that is how they dressed up for some Halloween party. Hilarious!
More of my Halloween Costume. I made it myself by using fabric paint on a big pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt. Note the baby skeleton. The outfit fit big, though, so you couldn't necessarily tell I was pregnant always, so people often missed the baby skeleton or, if they saw it, weren't sure if it was because I was pregnant. haha... funny!Sunday, October 25, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I want to write a journal... Need ideas...
Hi, all, after seeing the baby on the ultrasound and feeling her move a lot inside, I really want to start writing some notes for her. Like, what it's like to be pregnant with her and personal, sappy stuff about how much I like feeling her kick, love her, and all that crap that you don't want to read on my blog, but I feel like I should put somewhere. Any ideas?
Should I just get out any spare journal, even if I already started writing it in and just go for it? I kinda think so. Or should I just write them on post-its and shove it in the baby book? or get a new book? This really shouldn't be such a tough decision!
Should I just get out any spare journal, even if I already started writing it in and just go for it? I kinda think so. Or should I just write them on post-its and shove it in the baby book? or get a new book? This really shouldn't be such a tough decision!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The Realities of Pregnancy are Setting In...
So, now, I would say I definitely feel pregnant. Before, I sort of felt fake pregnant. I knew it in my head, but didn't feel it so much...
This week has been an interesting week of pregnancy experiences. First, 20 weeks marks the halfway point, but as a friend so aptly put it, I'm "not half as big as [I'm] going to get." But, I'm pretty much out of regular clothes and primarily in maternity clothes by now, which is new.
Next, we got to see the ultrasound of the baby, which was incredible. I couldn't believe how much the baby looked like a baby! And what's more, that that baby was inside me! How amazing! It was so cute and precious. Just an adorable little thing that I can't wait to see and meet properly. We found out the sex was "probably" a girl. Everything looked pretty girly in the nether region and the technician couldn't find boy parts, concluding it was probably a girl.
My mom arrived in town with a box full of baby clothes that I wore when I was little and the realities just continue sinking in. I feel a little humbled knowing that my survival at the same age as my baby was entirely dependent on her and I thanked her for it, despite how weird it sounded to say, "Um, thanks for carrying me for 9 months, Mom." She laughed. What else can you say to that?
Then, she and I registered for gifts and it was really my first walk through a baby store, thinking deeply through the realities of what it will mean to actually have a baby, including the challenges of giving her a bath, feeding her, dressing her, taking her with me places, and more. Trying to think through all the scenarios really made it hit home for me...
Then, we did a 3D ultrasound. Partly because I wanted to confirm the gender, partly because my mom was in town and I thought it would be fun for her, and partly just because I wanted one done! Sure enough, it's definitely a girl! And she is so precious. I can't wait to meet her!!! Watched the video with my husband later (he was too sick with the flu to join us at the ultrasound place) and burst into tears. So emotional...
This week also marked my first experiences with some of the more negative pregnancy symptoms, such as back pain and, well, lets just say that sneezing is no longer as enjoyable as it used to be, so I'm working hard on Kegels to combat the effects. For the first time in my life I actually considered buying orthopedic inserts for my shoes because even my flats were sort of hurting my back! This from the girl who swore up and down to wear heels all through pregnancy. What is happening to me?!
All these realities and events in one week! It's been tough to absorb them all, although mostly they are very exciting. I don't have much longer to finish sewing up all that maternity stuff I wanted to make. And, after that, I won't have long to start sewing baby stuff! I better get on it!
This week has been an interesting week of pregnancy experiences. First, 20 weeks marks the halfway point, but as a friend so aptly put it, I'm "not half as big as [I'm] going to get." But, I'm pretty much out of regular clothes and primarily in maternity clothes by now, which is new.
Next, we got to see the ultrasound of the baby, which was incredible. I couldn't believe how much the baby looked like a baby! And what's more, that that baby was inside me! How amazing! It was so cute and precious. Just an adorable little thing that I can't wait to see and meet properly. We found out the sex was "probably" a girl. Everything looked pretty girly in the nether region and the technician couldn't find boy parts, concluding it was probably a girl.
My mom arrived in town with a box full of baby clothes that I wore when I was little and the realities just continue sinking in. I feel a little humbled knowing that my survival at the same age as my baby was entirely dependent on her and I thanked her for it, despite how weird it sounded to say, "Um, thanks for carrying me for 9 months, Mom." She laughed. What else can you say to that?
Then, she and I registered for gifts and it was really my first walk through a baby store, thinking deeply through the realities of what it will mean to actually have a baby, including the challenges of giving her a bath, feeding her, dressing her, taking her with me places, and more. Trying to think through all the scenarios really made it hit home for me...
Then, we did a 3D ultrasound. Partly because I wanted to confirm the gender, partly because my mom was in town and I thought it would be fun for her, and partly just because I wanted one done! Sure enough, it's definitely a girl! And she is so precious. I can't wait to meet her!!! Watched the video with my husband later (he was too sick with the flu to join us at the ultrasound place) and burst into tears. So emotional...
This week also marked my first experiences with some of the more negative pregnancy symptoms, such as back pain and, well, lets just say that sneezing is no longer as enjoyable as it used to be, so I'm working hard on Kegels to combat the effects. For the first time in my life I actually considered buying orthopedic inserts for my shoes because even my flats were sort of hurting my back! This from the girl who swore up and down to wear heels all through pregnancy. What is happening to me?!
All these realities and events in one week! It's been tough to absorb them all, although mostly they are very exciting. I don't have much longer to finish sewing up all that maternity stuff I wanted to make. And, after that, I won't have long to start sewing baby stuff! I better get on it!
Monday, October 19, 2009
I am an imposter!
I registered for some basics at Babies R Us this weekend with my mom. It was really my first time in the store and my first pass through the baby stuff in person (I've been doing most of my research online).
While there, the only other people I saw in the store were confused-looking people holding registry pages, presumably buying their baby shower gifts, new parents with strollers, and giant (and I mean GIANT) pregnant women. I looked at them with their enormous bellies, looked down at my comparatively tiny belly (if I even looked pregnant to them) with my registry gun in hand and thought, "I feel like an imposter!" Here I am, barely 5 months pregnant, already registering and these women are in their last weeks, waddling around, picking up last minute items before baby arrives, and I'm leisurely walking around with my gun in hand without a care in the world!
I guess I'll be them soon enough!
While there, the only other people I saw in the store were confused-looking people holding registry pages, presumably buying their baby shower gifts, new parents with strollers, and giant (and I mean GIANT) pregnant women. I looked at them with their enormous bellies, looked down at my comparatively tiny belly (if I even looked pregnant to them) with my registry gun in hand and thought, "I feel like an imposter!" Here I am, barely 5 months pregnant, already registering and these women are in their last weeks, waddling around, picking up last minute items before baby arrives, and I'm leisurely walking around with my gun in hand without a care in the world!
I guess I'll be them soon enough!
Friday, October 16, 2009
U/S came back normal!
Just wanted to share that the U/S came back normal. I guess all the limbs and organs that they can see are working properly. What great news! Boy, you just never know what you are going to get. Guess that means lots of prayer. I feel for parents who don't get such good news who have to face terrible realities...
Belly-themed Baby Shower Cakes
While I find this idea very clever. It has huge potential to be creepy. I just couldn't not share. This one is pretty cute:
Thanks to Cake Wrecks for these photos
And this one is downright sad! Huge boobs and the shirt all rolled up. And, is she wearing boxer shorts? Can you say white trash?
Thanks to Cake Wrecks for these photos
Thursday, October 15, 2009
20 Weeks pregnant picture
Me at 20 weeks:
All I have to say is, if I'm this big now, how much bigger am I going to get?! EEK! I'm scared... hehe...
All I have to say is, if I'm this big now, how much bigger am I going to get?! EEK! I'm scared... hehe...
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
It's (maybe) a girl!
So, it's a girl! Or at least, we think it is...
We saw the 3 lines you're supposed to see when it's a girl, but the technician kept saying she's said that before and then little boy parts popped out. We looked and looked for boy parts, and so did she, but we couldn't find any, so I guess that means we are most likely having a girl.
We are going to do a 3-D ultrasound next week probably to get a second opinion and hopefully will know more then!
We saw the 3 lines you're supposed to see when it's a girl, but the technician kept saying she's said that before and then little boy parts popped out. We looked and looked for boy parts, and so did she, but we couldn't find any, so I guess that means we are most likely having a girl.
We are going to do a 3-D ultrasound next week probably to get a second opinion and hopefully will know more then!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I guess I've hit hormonal...
So, yeah, along with the 19 week excitement of feeling the baby move and the thrill of finding out the gender today has come the celebrated hormonal rages of a pregnant lady... *sigh*
I really thought I might escape it. So far, other than a little extra road rage, I've really suffered no major hormonal outbursts. I would say that I can FEEL the hormones raging inside at times--because I feel like a teenager--passionate and alive, which I noticed decreasing in my body at the age of 22, but I had managed to escape a true outburst.
That is, until last night...
Without going into all the details that will probably set me off yet again, we had this TV console that we were trying to get rid of and, after 2 no shows and a person who said looked at it and never came back, I was getting really sick of having it in my house. Between that and the numerous posts on Craigslist, follow-up phone calls, arranging times, holding the item, and waiting for a person every night who never showed up, the stress got to me.
First, we'd tried selling it for a modest $25. Then giving it away for free. In both cases, it was a huge struggle to get people to come and take it away. The weekend and then this week has been and will be very busy. We've had 3 hospital tours in 3 days, a play, a football game, and work. Today is our huge dr's appointment and Aaron leaves for the midwest on Thursday--the same day as my mom arrives from Georgia.
So, when again last night, someone came to look at the unit, claimed they needed a truck, and then left and never came back, I had had enough. I felt stressed from repeatedly listing and rearranging my nights around Craigslist people and I just wanted the unit out of my house. It was the last straw. I couldn't sleep and instead got up and started yelling, screaming, and crying my eyes out over it. No. Really. I am insane.
Finally, I convinced Aaron to put the thing outside our house and I posted the address on Craigslist at 11:30 at night saying it was outside. I went to bed crying and wailing some more.
By 7:45am this morning, it was gone. I had an email at 1:45 from the person who took it--she had disassembled it and hauled it away in the middle of the night.
Of course, I felt a bit sheepish this morning. That and total, unreasonable elation that someone finally took it away. Yes, I think the hormones have finally caught up with me. I should have realized it when pictures of babies made me well up on Saturday. Look out world, the crazy woman has arrived!
I really thought I might escape it. So far, other than a little extra road rage, I've really suffered no major hormonal outbursts. I would say that I can FEEL the hormones raging inside at times--because I feel like a teenager--passionate and alive, which I noticed decreasing in my body at the age of 22, but I had managed to escape a true outburst.
That is, until last night...
Without going into all the details that will probably set me off yet again, we had this TV console that we were trying to get rid of and, after 2 no shows and a person who said looked at it and never came back, I was getting really sick of having it in my house. Between that and the numerous posts on Craigslist, follow-up phone calls, arranging times, holding the item, and waiting for a person every night who never showed up, the stress got to me.
First, we'd tried selling it for a modest $25. Then giving it away for free. In both cases, it was a huge struggle to get people to come and take it away. The weekend and then this week has been and will be very busy. We've had 3 hospital tours in 3 days, a play, a football game, and work. Today is our huge dr's appointment and Aaron leaves for the midwest on Thursday--the same day as my mom arrives from Georgia.
So, when again last night, someone came to look at the unit, claimed they needed a truck, and then left and never came back, I had had enough. I felt stressed from repeatedly listing and rearranging my nights around Craigslist people and I just wanted the unit out of my house. It was the last straw. I couldn't sleep and instead got up and started yelling, screaming, and crying my eyes out over it. No. Really. I am insane.
Finally, I convinced Aaron to put the thing outside our house and I posted the address on Craigslist at 11:30 at night saying it was outside. I went to bed crying and wailing some more.
By 7:45am this morning, it was gone. I had an email at 1:45 from the person who took it--she had disassembled it and hauled it away in the middle of the night.
Of course, I felt a bit sheepish this morning. That and total, unreasonable elation that someone finally took it away. Yes, I think the hormones have finally caught up with me. I should have realized it when pictures of babies made me well up on Saturday. Look out world, the crazy woman has arrived!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Tomorrow is the big ultrasound!
Tomorrow at 2pm we find out the gender of the baby!!! I can't wait--except for the having to go to the bathroom really bad because they make you drink 4 glasses of water part. I'm taking bets or guesses here or on Facebook. I'll update you tomorrow or Wednesday with the results!
We felt the baby move!
So, this weekend we went to see American Idiot in Berkeley and it was AWESOME! I highly recommend it, if you can get tickets. It was well worth it. Very, very good.
The show is performed in 1.5 hours with no intermission and, of course, the pregnant lady was concerned about the bathroom. Sure enough, after about 45 minutes I had to go... But I didn't. Then I started feeling something strange. It felt like shifting and I figured it was my body really getting mad at me for not going when I needed to go. Then, I put my hand down there and the little pokes I was feeling I could feel from the inside AND the outside! There was no way that was just my insides shifting. After I felt it for a minute or two in a couple random places, I grabbed Aaron's hand and put it on my stomach and he felt it on the outside while I felt it on the inside!
It was very exciting. Since then, I've felt a lot of weird shifty feelings in there, but I'm not always sure it's the baby. Sometimes I think it is, but then I put my hand on my belly and can't feel anything, so I don't know. Most of the time I just feel sorta weird and crampy down there--could by my uterus expanding or the baby-who knows!
The show is performed in 1.5 hours with no intermission and, of course, the pregnant lady was concerned about the bathroom. Sure enough, after about 45 minutes I had to go... But I didn't. Then I started feeling something strange. It felt like shifting and I figured it was my body really getting mad at me for not going when I needed to go. Then, I put my hand down there and the little pokes I was feeling I could feel from the inside AND the outside! There was no way that was just my insides shifting. After I felt it for a minute or two in a couple random places, I grabbed Aaron's hand and put it on my stomach and he felt it on the outside while I felt it on the inside!
It was very exciting. Since then, I've felt a lot of weird shifty feelings in there, but I'm not always sure it's the baby. Sometimes I think it is, but then I put my hand on my belly and can't feel anything, so I don't know. Most of the time I just feel sorta weird and crampy down there--could by my uterus expanding or the baby-who knows!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Found an Alternative Baby Registry for Handmade stuff!!
I am so excited, I found this website in Fit Pregnancy magazine and it answers all my problems for how I tell my friends to get me something sentimental and handmade! It's an alternative baby registry!!!!
Actually it's for gifts of any kind, but this way I can specify things like, "Handmade baby blanket" or "Homemade meal after baby is born" or "second-hand stroller" so I don't get people going out and buying me a bunch of new stuff I don't need. Great, right!!! I'm super psyched about this and I've already started one. Of course, there will be a few rather expensive items on there and I put "cash - $25" as one, too. But this is just because I want to avoid people buying me gift cards. I would rather have the cash so that I can buy stuff I need where I choose or second hand.
If you'd like to see ours you can get to it here. I love this idea WAY more than the baby fund!!
Actually it's for gifts of any kind, but this way I can specify things like, "Handmade baby blanket" or "Homemade meal after baby is born" or "second-hand stroller" so I don't get people going out and buying me a bunch of new stuff I don't need. Great, right!!! I'm super psyched about this and I've already started one. Of course, there will be a few rather expensive items on there and I put "cash - $25" as one, too. But this is just because I want to avoid people buying me gift cards. I would rather have the cash so that I can buy stuff I need where I choose or second hand.
If you'd like to see ours you can get to it here. I love this idea WAY more than the baby fund!!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Just Because I'm Pregnant Doesn't Mean My Life is Over!
I have to comment on the perception people have of pregnant women and families in general. I understand that for many women, getting pregnant signifies a new chapter unfolding in their lives--a chapter centered around family and devotion to them.
However, just because many women feel that way, it doesn't mean that ALL women do. Personally, I view pregnancy and having a child as an opportunity for an experience.
I want the child to become a part of my life and, likewise, I want to be a part of its life. I want to raise the child to be a healthy, happy, contributing member of society, however, to do so I do not believe it requires me to, from now on, stay home and focus on them 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
Yes, children take a lot of care, and there is no getting around that my life will change drastically. I will be busier and centered around the needs of my child, especially while he or she is young. And, I plan to be involved and enjoy being around my darling child--to take care of it and play with it and have fun. However, I refuse to let this define me or prevent me from also having a life of my own.
The same thing happened when I got married. Everyone said, "Wow, I didn't think you were ready to settle down!" And I was like, "What do you mean? Just because I get married, doesn't mean I suddenly stop talking to all my friends and spend 24 hours a day with my husband." My interpretation of marriage is one where my husband is a friend and partner--someone to share my life with--not to BE my whole life. He and I are great friends and we go out and have fun with our other friends--single, married, it doesn't matter. Maybe we don't go out as often as we used to and we have nights in here and there, but he is just as happy to stay home on a Saturday night as I am to go party it up with the girls. And, I don't see why it has to be any different. Marriage did not equal my life being over. I can still go out, have fun, and live it up with my friends--single or married. It's simply the same fun, exciting time it was before, only more enriched through sharing it with a partner.
Similarly, I feel the same way about children. I understand it will be very different, but just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can no longer go out with my friends for a nice dinner and drinks. It doesn't even mean I can't go out clubbing and dancing. Sure, I have to be more careful and I'll probably get tired more quickly, but it doesn't HAVE to be anything specific if I don't want it to be. I know some people will disagree with me, but I believe this is a personal choice.
Recently in talking to a friend, I said, "Sure! Let's go out. I love to go out and party." And her response was, "Then why are you pregnant?" Her response surprised me. Sure, my life is going to change, but just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I no longer want to go out and have fun with my friends--or that I'm no longer going to go out or have fun at parties. I am still ME. I'll party with my kid at home and party with my friends when I can, but just because I have a child means I want to stop all that or that I will have to. I thought carefully about her question because I felt like I was replying for all fun-loving pregnant women everywhere,
"Because I can have it all," I said.
And that basically sums it up for me.
I can have a job, a family, and a fabulous life with friends, fun, and excitement. Just because I have one doesn't mean I can't have the others. Things may change, but in the end, I'll love what I always loved and if having fun to me means partying or going out with the girls, I'll find a way to make it work. And, I don't see why other people have to judge that so specifically. Let the pregnant woman guide the way on what she wants. Some women want it all. Some women want the family life. Let them have it!
However, just because many women feel that way, it doesn't mean that ALL women do. Personally, I view pregnancy and having a child as an opportunity for an experience.
I want the child to become a part of my life and, likewise, I want to be a part of its life. I want to raise the child to be a healthy, happy, contributing member of society, however, to do so I do not believe it requires me to, from now on, stay home and focus on them 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
Yes, children take a lot of care, and there is no getting around that my life will change drastically. I will be busier and centered around the needs of my child, especially while he or she is young. And, I plan to be involved and enjoy being around my darling child--to take care of it and play with it and have fun. However, I refuse to let this define me or prevent me from also having a life of my own.
The same thing happened when I got married. Everyone said, "Wow, I didn't think you were ready to settle down!" And I was like, "What do you mean? Just because I get married, doesn't mean I suddenly stop talking to all my friends and spend 24 hours a day with my husband." My interpretation of marriage is one where my husband is a friend and partner--someone to share my life with--not to BE my whole life. He and I are great friends and we go out and have fun with our other friends--single, married, it doesn't matter. Maybe we don't go out as often as we used to and we have nights in here and there, but he is just as happy to stay home on a Saturday night as I am to go party it up with the girls. And, I don't see why it has to be any different. Marriage did not equal my life being over. I can still go out, have fun, and live it up with my friends--single or married. It's simply the same fun, exciting time it was before, only more enriched through sharing it with a partner.
Similarly, I feel the same way about children. I understand it will be very different, but just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can no longer go out with my friends for a nice dinner and drinks. It doesn't even mean I can't go out clubbing and dancing. Sure, I have to be more careful and I'll probably get tired more quickly, but it doesn't HAVE to be anything specific if I don't want it to be. I know some people will disagree with me, but I believe this is a personal choice.
Recently in talking to a friend, I said, "Sure! Let's go out. I love to go out and party." And her response was, "Then why are you pregnant?" Her response surprised me. Sure, my life is going to change, but just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I no longer want to go out and have fun with my friends--or that I'm no longer going to go out or have fun at parties. I am still ME. I'll party with my kid at home and party with my friends when I can, but just because I have a child means I want to stop all that or that I will have to. I thought carefully about her question because I felt like I was replying for all fun-loving pregnant women everywhere,
"Because I can have it all," I said.
And that basically sums it up for me.
I can have a job, a family, and a fabulous life with friends, fun, and excitement. Just because I have one doesn't mean I can't have the others. Things may change, but in the end, I'll love what I always loved and if having fun to me means partying or going out with the girls, I'll find a way to make it work. And, I don't see why other people have to judge that so specifically. Let the pregnant woman guide the way on what she wants. Some women want it all. Some women want the family life. Let them have it!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
18 weeks pregnant
Holy cow, I'm HUGE. This is 18 weeks. Maybe it's just the shirt? I look like I'm 35 weeks, not 18. Ack!!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
It's official, I've gotten bigger
Um, yeah.
Remember how I said I was wearing dresses? Well, I can't fit into most of them now. Apparently, it's my boobs. Never had giant boobs before, which is why none of the dresses fit, I guess.
Tried on a maternity dress my mom gave me. She made it for herself when she was pregnant with me. Cute, cool, vintage, sentimental. Too small. Yeah. In the boobs. Again.
Biggest pair of jeans I own? Yep, the zipper is splayed open to practically horizontal. Guess I'm wearing maternity pants exclusively now. Ah, well, could be worse. At least the maternity pants I bought are cuter than my regular ones!
Remember how I said I was wearing dresses? Well, I can't fit into most of them now. Apparently, it's my boobs. Never had giant boobs before, which is why none of the dresses fit, I guess.
Tried on a maternity dress my mom gave me. She made it for herself when she was pregnant with me. Cute, cool, vintage, sentimental. Too small. Yeah. In the boobs. Again.
Biggest pair of jeans I own? Yep, the zipper is splayed open to practically horizontal. Guess I'm wearing maternity pants exclusively now. Ah, well, could be worse. At least the maternity pants I bought are cuter than my regular ones!
Baby Shower Alternatives...
So, I've been thinking a lot about showers and registering and gifts and stuff lately. In all honesty, there isn't much I want people to get me at a shower. I don't want a lot of stuff, because my place can't really take the clutter. I would rather have the few things I absolutely need (like bottles, diapers, clothes, and a blanket) and not a bunch of random baby crap like a swing, walker, all that stuff.
I would prefer that gifts be:
1) what they couldn't live without when they had a baby or
2) something sentimental to them - like a book they loved or
3) something handmade.
Regarding these, how do I convey this message or create an environment where the focus is on having fun together and not the traditional gifting thing?
I was thinking about some kind of DIY baby party where everyone comes and makes something for the baby. People who sew can sew a crib sheet or diaper cover, for example. People who knit can make a baby hat, blanket, or sweater. People who don't do either can work on a craft project for baby or cut out fabric for the sewers. But, that begs the question of how much time would that take? It's almost like a series of baby parties... Just one would have to be a fairly simple project, like a diaper cover maybe. And, if they wanted to bring something themselves, they could...
I think that would be more fun than a baby shower and certainly would accomplish the purpose of bringing people together to celebrate the baby coming... Thoughts?
I would prefer that gifts be:
1) what they couldn't live without when they had a baby or
2) something sentimental to them - like a book they loved or
3) something handmade.
Regarding these, how do I convey this message or create an environment where the focus is on having fun together and not the traditional gifting thing?
I was thinking about some kind of DIY baby party where everyone comes and makes something for the baby. People who sew can sew a crib sheet or diaper cover, for example. People who knit can make a baby hat, blanket, or sweater. People who don't do either can work on a craft project for baby or cut out fabric for the sewers. But, that begs the question of how much time would that take? It's almost like a series of baby parties... Just one would have to be a fairly simple project, like a diaper cover maybe. And, if they wanted to bring something themselves, they could...
I think that would be more fun than a baby shower and certainly would accomplish the purpose of bringing people together to celebrate the baby coming... Thoughts?
Monday, September 21, 2009
Food...
My whole life I've loved food. I don't really ever say no to food and I basically like all foods. I will try anything once (except, maybe, insects).
Since I got pregnant, I feel like this has been heightened slightly. I knew food would be different when I was pregnant, but I was unprepared for how. During the first trimester, I was grossed out by foods I ordinarily loved and stuck to grilled cheese for about a month. Then, as the morning sickness wore off, I began to be obsessed with food. I would think about it all the time--craving one thing or another. Deciding I HAD to have ice cream, cookies, cake (almost always something sweet) RIGHT NOW! To satisfy all my cravings, I cooked a lot--food I was craving, sweets I was craving, etc.
Now, I'm realizing that sugary stuff makes me feel sick and I want to eat healthier anyway, so I'm not spending as much time thinking about eating food. Now, I am constantly thinking about making food--about what I will cook for dinner, what I can make-ahead for a party, or simply make for snacks. I spend hours looking at recipes for just about anything and everything my husband or I ever wanted to eat. I'm obsessed with health, too. I read page after page of books and websites dedicated to food information, pregnancy nutrition, and other food-related topics.
I can't stop think about obtaining food. Whereas I found it difficult to even enter a grocery store during the 1st trimester, now I make endless lists of what I want to buy at the grocery store. I look forward to the farmer's market, making a lists of what I want to buy 6 days before! I am obsessed with planting a garden, even though there are a limited number of things I can plant in mid-September. All I want to do is grow, buy, and make food for me and my husband. I guess they call that nesting?
Since I got pregnant, I feel like this has been heightened slightly. I knew food would be different when I was pregnant, but I was unprepared for how. During the first trimester, I was grossed out by foods I ordinarily loved and stuck to grilled cheese for about a month. Then, as the morning sickness wore off, I began to be obsessed with food. I would think about it all the time--craving one thing or another. Deciding I HAD to have ice cream, cookies, cake (almost always something sweet) RIGHT NOW! To satisfy all my cravings, I cooked a lot--food I was craving, sweets I was craving, etc.
Now, I'm realizing that sugary stuff makes me feel sick and I want to eat healthier anyway, so I'm not spending as much time thinking about eating food. Now, I am constantly thinking about making food--about what I will cook for dinner, what I can make-ahead for a party, or simply make for snacks. I spend hours looking at recipes for just about anything and everything my husband or I ever wanted to eat. I'm obsessed with health, too. I read page after page of books and websites dedicated to food information, pregnancy nutrition, and other food-related topics.
I can't stop think about obtaining food. Whereas I found it difficult to even enter a grocery store during the 1st trimester, now I make endless lists of what I want to buy at the grocery store. I look forward to the farmer's market, making a lists of what I want to buy 6 days before! I am obsessed with planting a garden, even though there are a limited number of things I can plant in mid-September. All I want to do is grow, buy, and make food for me and my husband. I guess they call that nesting?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
15 Weeks pregnant pictures
This was taken around 15 weeks, give or take a few days. This one you can see I'm definitely getting rounder, especially above the belly button. Eek! I also gained about 6 pounds in 2 weeks or something before this picture was taken, so maybe I've been eating too much?
Saturday, September 19, 2009
12 to 14 Weeks pregnant pictures
Finally got some new belly pics for you!
The first one was taken somewhere between 12 and 14 weeks, I think. This is why I need to hold a sign... hehe...
Will take some newer ones soon!
The first one was taken somewhere between 12 and 14 weeks, I think. This is why I need to hold a sign... hehe...
Will take some newer ones soon!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
My Naked Belly Button...
No new pics just yet. I've been slacking on the uploading. I blame it on work.
Today marks a milestone of sorts for me. I am 16 weeks today, or 4 months for those who don't want to do the math. Technically, it would mark 3.5 months (due to the automatically added 2 weeks since LMP) or slightly less given that a month is actually 30-31 days instead of 28, but I digress.
After reading some particularly horrifying stories about belly-button ring scars from pregnancy, I decided I would take mine out at 4 months. I read online about a girl who waited until 5 months and she had a big scar, so I am trying to be pre-emptive.
And, now my belly button is naked. I haven't seen it without rings in more than 6 years! I got my second belly button piercing about 6-7 years ago and the first about a year before that. Now I just have 4 slightly big holes surrounding my belly button and it feels and looks naked!
Other updates:
-Haven't felt movement yet, but I'm told it should start soon.
-Had a Dr's appointment yesterday and everything is looking good. Baby was moving around alot when the Dr. used the doppler to listen to the heartbeat. She said it's an active baby, which isn't at all surprising, but is so exciting because it's our first window into little Kirk's personality. Hooray! An active child! That means lots of hikes and trips to the zoo and running around and doing super fun stuff until we are all tired. Fun!!
-I'm getting bigger. Wearing maternity pants on and off now. I made myself 3 "maternity" skirts and I'll probably make one more. I wear mostly those and dresses and, when I want to wear pants, maternity pants, even though they are still a bit big. Shirts are starting to get tighter, so that's alarming... better get to work on making some of those.
-Latest semi-offensive comment about my size: "You look like you are so big you are going to have twins." Um. Thanks. I'm not even 4 months yet. I'm right on target and I know I can't look that big yet, people! Sheesh.
-I scheduled my ultrasound for October 13. That's when we get to find out the sex! I CAN'T FRIGGIN' WAIT!
Today marks a milestone of sorts for me. I am 16 weeks today, or 4 months for those who don't want to do the math. Technically, it would mark 3.5 months (due to the automatically added 2 weeks since LMP) or slightly less given that a month is actually 30-31 days instead of 28, but I digress.
After reading some particularly horrifying stories about belly-button ring scars from pregnancy, I decided I would take mine out at 4 months. I read online about a girl who waited until 5 months and she had a big scar, so I am trying to be pre-emptive.
And, now my belly button is naked. I haven't seen it without rings in more than 6 years! I got my second belly button piercing about 6-7 years ago and the first about a year before that. Now I just have 4 slightly big holes surrounding my belly button and it feels and looks naked!
Other updates:
-Haven't felt movement yet, but I'm told it should start soon.
-Had a Dr's appointment yesterday and everything is looking good. Baby was moving around alot when the Dr. used the doppler to listen to the heartbeat. She said it's an active baby, which isn't at all surprising, but is so exciting because it's our first window into little Kirk's personality. Hooray! An active child! That means lots of hikes and trips to the zoo and running around and doing super fun stuff until we are all tired. Fun!!
-I'm getting bigger. Wearing maternity pants on and off now. I made myself 3 "maternity" skirts and I'll probably make one more. I wear mostly those and dresses and, when I want to wear pants, maternity pants, even though they are still a bit big. Shirts are starting to get tighter, so that's alarming... better get to work on making some of those.
-Latest semi-offensive comment about my size: "You look like you are so big you are going to have twins." Um. Thanks. I'm not even 4 months yet. I'm right on target and I know I can't look that big yet, people! Sheesh.
-I scheduled my ultrasound for October 13. That's when we get to find out the sex! I CAN'T FRIGGIN' WAIT!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Scary Day, but the little guy is okay...
This weekend Aaron and I went to Yosemite (trying to do all the stuff we've been meaning to do before baby comes). I mistakenly thought it was going to be 77 degrees and it ended up being 99! Well, I didn't look at the temperature until later and we went on a hike. The whole time I was like, "Wow, I feel just incredibly tired." I knew it was hot, but I didn't know it was THAT hot!
So I went very slowly, drank tons of water, took lots of breaks, and generally tried not to exhert myself. We even did an easy hike that was mostly in the shade. I felt like a huge wuss!
Afterwards I was DEAD tired. Never felt anything like that during or after the hike. Every time I sat down it was actually physically difficult to get back up, much less move. I ate a ridiculous amount of food and slept a LONG time that night! Then the next day we hung around the area in 95 degree heat and walked around some little towns (I got to pan for gold!), but again, it was hot and I was DEAD tired after only 1 or 2 hours of being outside, mostly in the shade.
Today, I was worried that possibly all my activity and the heat could have a negative effect on the baby. So I called the office. She asked, "Have you had any spotting or cramping?" and I said no.
Then, later in the day, I started having spotting. Terrified, I called the Dr. again and she had me come in. I was really freaked out, but it ended up being okay. She checked the heart beat, which we heard and was fine, and my cervix and said everything seemed great, and that the blood could just have been from my cervix from the overexhertion or something else. She compared it to a nosebleed. Nothing serious, sometimes just irritation causes a little blood.
So that's a relief, but my goodness, what a day! I got so worked up. That little baby is already very loved!
So I went very slowly, drank tons of water, took lots of breaks, and generally tried not to exhert myself. We even did an easy hike that was mostly in the shade. I felt like a huge wuss!
Afterwards I was DEAD tired. Never felt anything like that during or after the hike. Every time I sat down it was actually physically difficult to get back up, much less move. I ate a ridiculous amount of food and slept a LONG time that night! Then the next day we hung around the area in 95 degree heat and walked around some little towns (I got to pan for gold!), but again, it was hot and I was DEAD tired after only 1 or 2 hours of being outside, mostly in the shade.
Today, I was worried that possibly all my activity and the heat could have a negative effect on the baby. So I called the office. She asked, "Have you had any spotting or cramping?" and I said no.
Then, later in the day, I started having spotting. Terrified, I called the Dr. again and she had me come in. I was really freaked out, but it ended up being okay. She checked the heart beat, which we heard and was fine, and my cervix and said everything seemed great, and that the blood could just have been from my cervix from the overexhertion or something else. She compared it to a nosebleed. Nothing serious, sometimes just irritation causes a little blood.
So that's a relief, but my goodness, what a day! I got so worked up. That little baby is already very loved!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Annoyed...
Maybe the pregnancy hormones are catching up with me, but everything seems to be annoying me! I am quickly alienating relatives with my blunt rants about how people did or didn't find out. I guess that means they don't know that I often rant and rave out loud without always meaning anything behind it.
At any rate, my ranting and raving has become much louder and maybe more agitated, hence causing sensitive people to have their feelings hurt. Which I don't mean. Of course I don't mean it. I love you guys!
At the same time, everything is annoying me. Either I'm too hungry or I'm too full. There is no middle ground. I'm too sick or too hot or too tired or too cold or too busy or too bored or too something! And I can't concentrate at work or at home, for that matter. And I can't blame it on pregnancy, even though I would love to, because I still want to be seen as a legitimate employee. I can't make decisions and I feel overwhelmed (usually a by-product of too much busy-ness, which I seem to be encountering). And, I have no idea what to do about it, other than express my constant annoyance, if only via this blog!
I constantly feel stressed and agitated--when a coworker stops by my desk, when I have to go to the bathroom for the 75th time, when someone cuts me off in traffic (if I'm not so tired I barely notice it), when I am impatient. Argh...
I guess I must be suffering from hormones, I guess. I never wanted to take it out on so many people (and yet not take it out on so many people--sorry people) in my life!
At any rate, my ranting and raving has become much louder and maybe more agitated, hence causing sensitive people to have their feelings hurt. Which I don't mean. Of course I don't mean it. I love you guys!
At the same time, everything is annoying me. Either I'm too hungry or I'm too full. There is no middle ground. I'm too sick or too hot or too tired or too cold or too busy or too bored or too something! And I can't concentrate at work or at home, for that matter. And I can't blame it on pregnancy, even though I would love to, because I still want to be seen as a legitimate employee. I can't make decisions and I feel overwhelmed (usually a by-product of too much busy-ness, which I seem to be encountering). And, I have no idea what to do about it, other than express my constant annoyance, if only via this blog!
I constantly feel stressed and agitated--when a coworker stops by my desk, when I have to go to the bathroom for the 75th time, when someone cuts me off in traffic (if I'm not so tired I barely notice it), when I am impatient. Argh...
I guess I must be suffering from hormones, I guess. I never wanted to take it out on so many people (and yet not take it out on so many people--sorry people) in my life!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Created a Baby Fund
So, in anticipation of baby showers that will take place in December or sometime around there, I have created a fund for baby items.
We will still probably register, but mainly for smaller items, like onesies, creams, and towels. Since we live far away from many friends and family, it will be easier on them, and us, if they give us small gifts or no gifts at all and simply donate to the fund, if they wish to give us something. That way, we can purchase the bigger items that will cost a LOT of money more easily.
We want to buy a fairly expensive stroller, mainly because we want a jogging stroller with off-road capabilities so we can go hiking with it and also jog with it! Those are usually pretty pricey. I will also need a fairly expensive breast pump so I can be sure to pump fast and efficiently during work hours. There are probably other things we haven't even thought of yet, too! I know we'll need a crib and maybe some additional furniture, although we'll try to keep those to a minimum. And, we prefer to get most of the stuff used (since people around here buy the most expensive baby stuff and want to sell it when they are done with it, since it is still nice) rather than new, so if someone wanted to buy it for us new, we'd prefer they didn't and just gave us the money to buy a nice used one!
So, donations can start whenever, but, of course, I'm not asking for them--it's just I'd prefer that to a gift. Of course, gifts won't be refused--especially something handmade or heartfelt! I just know I've been to so many baby showers and had no idea what to buy. Usually, I just defaulted to clothes. Registries seem so impersonal and I'd rather get them something they really need! So, hopefully, this helps with that anxiety. Here's the website: http://www.createafund.com/Kirkbaby/Baby
We will still probably register, but mainly for smaller items, like onesies, creams, and towels. Since we live far away from many friends and family, it will be easier on them, and us, if they give us small gifts or no gifts at all and simply donate to the fund, if they wish to give us something. That way, we can purchase the bigger items that will cost a LOT of money more easily.
We want to buy a fairly expensive stroller, mainly because we want a jogging stroller with off-road capabilities so we can go hiking with it and also jog with it! Those are usually pretty pricey. I will also need a fairly expensive breast pump so I can be sure to pump fast and efficiently during work hours. There are probably other things we haven't even thought of yet, too! I know we'll need a crib and maybe some additional furniture, although we'll try to keep those to a minimum. And, we prefer to get most of the stuff used (since people around here buy the most expensive baby stuff and want to sell it when they are done with it, since it is still nice) rather than new, so if someone wanted to buy it for us new, we'd prefer they didn't and just gave us the money to buy a nice used one!
So, donations can start whenever, but, of course, I'm not asking for them--it's just I'd prefer that to a gift. Of course, gifts won't be refused--especially something handmade or heartfelt! I just know I've been to so many baby showers and had no idea what to buy. Usually, I just defaulted to clothes. Registries seem so impersonal and I'd rather get them something they really need! So, hopefully, this helps with that anxiety. Here's the website: http://www.createafund.com/Kirkbaby/Baby
Friday, August 21, 2009
Pictures so far!
The baby snowman at 7 weeks and 4 days. So little!
11 weeks, 4 days. Not much change in a week.
Me at 10 weeks and 4 days. Getting bigger...
Me at 7 weeks 2 days or something like that. All kinds of bloated.
Don't know if you'd call this our first picture of our baby, but definitely the first evidence! OMG, a positive test! I'd never seen 2 lines before!If this was 2005, this baby could still be a secret!
Well, Tuesday was Dr's appointment #2. My mother and Aaron's mother were anxiously awaiting the go-ahead to tell people.
As soon as I the appointment was over and we got the all clear. I called my mom who promptly told the people she was with. My mother-in-law, though, had a list a mile long of who she was going to call. So, Aaron was in charge of calling his brothers then calling his mother to give her the go ahead to make the calls. Aaron hadn't been on the phone 10 minutes when his brother had posted it on Facebook. His side of the family uses Facebook extensively. I called his brother to ask him to take it down at least until the rest of the family could hear it by phone. But, it was too late. Someone had already seen his post.
Then, the rest of the family immediately got on Facebook to offer their congratulations. All my friends started finding out through facebook. I was hoping to wait a few more weeks before telling my facebook friends, but oh well! Such is life... in the modern technology age...
Turns out, though, for all the people on Aaron's side and all my friends and such that found out via Facebook, my mother never even called my aunts and uncles! So I broke the news to one uncle via email. I called my grandpa, uncle, and aunt on the other side. My aunt wasn't home, so I told her husband, my uncle. Then, he forgot to tell her and she later heard it from her son who announced, "Hannah's pregnant"! Funny!
At any rate, if this was still 2005 (before Facebook and Myspace took off), this could still be a secret and I wouldn't have to pre-emptively announce to everyone I've ever met that yes, I am pregnant. And then my baby would be 3 or 4 years old!
As soon as I the appointment was over and we got the all clear. I called my mom who promptly told the people she was with. My mother-in-law, though, had a list a mile long of who she was going to call. So, Aaron was in charge of calling his brothers then calling his mother to give her the go ahead to make the calls. Aaron hadn't been on the phone 10 minutes when his brother had posted it on Facebook. His side of the family uses Facebook extensively. I called his brother to ask him to take it down at least until the rest of the family could hear it by phone. But, it was too late. Someone had already seen his post.
Then, the rest of the family immediately got on Facebook to offer their congratulations. All my friends started finding out through facebook. I was hoping to wait a few more weeks before telling my facebook friends, but oh well! Such is life... in the modern technology age...
Turns out, though, for all the people on Aaron's side and all my friends and such that found out via Facebook, my mother never even called my aunts and uncles! So I broke the news to one uncle via email. I called my grandpa, uncle, and aunt on the other side. My aunt wasn't home, so I told her husband, my uncle. Then, he forgot to tell her and she later heard it from her son who announced, "Hannah's pregnant"! Funny!
At any rate, if this was still 2005 (before Facebook and Myspace took off), this could still be a secret and I wouldn't have to pre-emptively announce to everyone I've ever met that yes, I am pregnant. And then my baby would be 3 or 4 years old!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
We're pregnant! Holy Cow!
Um, so yeah, we are pregnant and are announcing it as of yesterday. So I will post pics and other stuff about my pregnancy here. So far most of the good stuff has already occurred to me, so hopefully there will be more stuff to come!
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